When Darkness Falls
by Super Chino
Summary: Sleeping is hard to do when your past likes to haunt your thoughts. Lucky for Ryan...his past is exactly that...past. Chapter 2 already in the works.
1. Default Chapter

This one has bits of language and some violence...but...I've seen and heard worse at the local skate park! So...I'm leaving it as a PG-13. It's been a while since I wrote a story with this sort of flavor! I've been living it up in "fluff heaven"! My inner circle liked it so I thought I would put it out there for y'all to see. Hope ya's enjoy it! There is a second part in the works. Please drop me a review  they make my day! :D ENJOY! : D  
  
When Darkness Falls  
  
Pale light sifted in from the kitchen. Ryan had no idea what time it was. He had been on the couch for hours. He figured it must be the middle of the night by now. Staring at the ceiling, his mind was cluttered. He hated relenting to sleep. That was when his subconscious liked to remind him of all the things he wanted to forget. In the dark, during rest, his mind was an open palette, a playground where shadows of his past came to play against his will. Exhausted as he was, he fought against his body's quest for slumber. Feeling his head slip to the right, he jolted himself awake. "I can do this. I can beat this," he rationalized with himself. Frowning at the ceiling again, he realized he was losing his negotiating power with the Sandman...and the darkness came.   
  
..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....  
  
Stopping at the curb, Ryan dismounted his bike and walked up the path to the house. Dropping his bike in the grass, he sighed, disgusted to find the lights still on at this hour. That meant someone was still up. Someone would see him walk in the door. He was kicking himself for getting caught sneaking out a week ago. Since then AJ had nailed boards up over his bedroom window. Ryan wasn't sure what the point of that was. AJ liked him out of the way. By blocking his window, now he had to parade in and out of the house right past AJ. Something that wasn't good for either of them. It was especially bad for Ryan.  
  
Yelling and screaming could be heard inside the house. Looking back down at his bike, he considered picking it up and leaving again. Not even walking in the house. He could sleep in one of the cars at the rail yards. No one would bother him there and he wouldn't have to deal with AJ. He could hear his mother begging to AJ. She was crying. As much as he wanted nothing to do with this, he just couldn't walk away.  
  
Opening the door revealed a scene Ryan had come across many times. The house was in disarray. Clearly, there had been a fight. His Mom looked worn down and disheveled. Her eyes were red from crying with make-up running down her cheeks, and one eye appeared to have the beginning stages of a bruise. She'd been smacked around, no doubt. Her voice was strained and hoarse from yelling. Obviously she had done something AJ didn't appreciate.  
  
"Ryan...honey." Dawn wasn't an award-winning mom by far, but once in a blue moon, she did the right thing. "Honey, go to your room. It's late."  
  
"What happened?" Ryan asked. Scanning the room, his eyes locked with AJ's. On some nights, that's all it took. Switching his eyes back to his Mom, Ryan could feel the anger building inside of him. Anger that his Mom always chose these men that treated them this way. Anger that his life was a mess because of his mom's poor decisions. Anger because it was the same crap over and over and over again.  
  
"Why don't you ever just do as your told?" The voice was deep, slurred, and equally as angry. Raising an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels to his lips, AJ drained the bottle and stared daggers at Ryan. "It would save me a lot of trouble."  
  
"AJ don't!" Dawn's raspy voice pleaded. "He has nothing to do with this."  
  
"Shut up! You're in enough trouble of your own!"  
  
"Why don't you just leave her alone?" Ryan's mouth opened and the words poured out before he even realized it. He stood in stunned silence at his own actions. He knew better. There was no talking to AJ when he was drunk. Hell, there was no talking to AJ when he was sober. Ryan just knocked on the devil's door, and the devil was about to answer.  
  
"What did you say to me?" Staggering, AJ turned his attention completely onto Ryan.  
  
Ryan, in the mean time, forced himself to break from his eye lock with AJ. "Look anywhere but at him," Ryan told himself. While this concept was good in theory, Ryan's eyes snapped right back to AJ when he realized he was moving.  
  
"What did you say to me you little punk?"  
  
"I said, leave her alone." He had already crossed the line. Might as well see it through. Whether he kept talking or kept his mouth shut, the outcome would be the same, and he knew that.  
  
At that comment, Dawn dropped to a sitting position on the floor and covered her face with her hands. She was crying.  
  
"Yeah I'd cry too if I were your mother...because you're so fucking stupid!"  
  
Without warning, AJ launched the whiskey bottle at Ryan. Considering he was drunk, his aim was dead on accurate and the bottle shattered against Ryan's temple. Stumbling backwards, the blow made Ryan's head spin. He was seeing stars and he felt himself fall to the floor. He watched drops of blood sink into the carpeting. His eyes were crossing so he wasn't sure just how bad his head was bleeding. The pain however was excruciating. He could hear moaning. Someone was moaning in pain. It took him a moment to realize it was himself.  
  
Someone grabbed his arm and wrenched him up off of the floor. In the blink of an eye, AJ had him standing, backed up against the wall.  
  
"AJ stop! Don't hurt him!" Dawn's pleas fell on deaf ears. Her own fear of what AJ was capable of kept her steadfast in her position on the floor.  
  
AJ leaned in close to Ryan, so close Ryan could feel him breathing on his face. "Who do you think you're talking to little man?" Huh?" Ryan could feel his body jump at the sound of AJ's voice.  
  
The smell of whiskey on AJ's breath turned Ryan's stomach. Jerking his head away, he attempted to escape the nauseating smell. He hated giving AJ the satisfaction of showing his fear, but the pain in his head made him weak and he was not up for a fight. His chin shook and tears streamed down his cheeks.  
  
Growling against Ryan's neck, "You're not all that mouth now are you?" Ryan scrunched his eyes closed as tight as possible. Silently he wished AJ away like a bad dream.  
  
"You're gonna learn to respect me, if it kills you," AJ snarled.  
  
Sensing AJ backing off, Ryan allowed himself to open his eyes. Unfortunately, the first thing he saw was AJ's fist en route to his stomach. Letting out another painful groan, the contact leveled Ryan sending him back to the floor.  
  
Squatting down in front of him, AJ grabbed a fistful of Ryan's hair and jerked his head back. "Now, your mother told you to go to your room. Are you going or do I need to explain this to you further?"  
  
In between gasping breaths, "I'll go...I'll go," Ryan murmured.  
  
As unsteady as he was, somehow Ryan got to his feet and made his way to his room. Closing the bedroom door, his bed offered his only escape from the evenings events. Sitting with his back up against the wall, Ryan cried silently in the dark. He didn't deserve this. Any of it. He deserved a mom that would protect him. He deserved a home he wasn't afraid to come home to. And he certainly didn't deserve to be AJ's personal punching bag. He deserved so much more than this. One of these days, he was going to leave this all behind, with no regrets.  
  
..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....  
  
The clock on the night table read 3:37am when his bedroom door opened. His heart jumped when he saw a figure enter. With the click of the latch, the closet light was flipped on. It was Trey. Ryan let out a deep sigh of relief.  
  
"I thought you were AJ."  
  
"Nah. I'm too quiet to be AJ. What happened here tonight?"  
  
"I'm not entirely sure. It was like this when I came home around midnight."  
  
Sitting on his own bed across from Ryan, Trey caught a glimpse of dried blood that had streaked down the side of Ryan's face. "I'm confident I know 'who' happened to you but, what happened to you?"  
  
"I made the mistake of asking what happened here tonight. He threw a bottle at me."  
  
"Jesus." Moving closer to Ryan, Trey examined his wound. "That's bad Ryan. If that thing is still weeping by morning, you might need some stitches."  
  
Ryan shook his head and lowered his eyes to his lap. He hoped to God he didn't need stitches. That would only trigger round two with AJ because he would have to spend money on Ryan...for something he would claim was Ryan's fault to start with. God he hoped he didn't need stitches.  
  
"Wait here, man. I'll be right back." Trey disappeared through the door again. Ryan wanted to stop him. Making noise at night was never a good idea and he didn't want to cross AJ's path any sooner than he had to.  
  
When Trey returned, he brought a wet washcloth and a Ziploc bag filled with ice cubes. "Here little brother. Hold this up there. We gotta get that bleeding to stop. We'll clean your face up later."  
  
"I wish you were around here more man. He doesn't do this to me when you're here." Ryan looked longingly at Trey before breaking eye contact.  
  
Guilt washed over Trey. He knew his little brother didn't deserve this. Any of it. "I don't know why he's so mean to you man. You're the good one. Look at me. Drugs. Theft. A drop-out. I'm the one he should be mean to. He obviously feels threatened by you. Something about you little man."  
  
Glaring at Trey, "Don't call me little man. AJ calls me that and I hate it."  
  
"Yeah okay, I can respect that. But you're still my little brother and you're stuck with that." Smiling at Ryan, Trey tried to comfort Ryan the best he could. "You'll see Ryan. Some day you're gonna get out of here. Some day you're gonna have a wife and kids, a house and all the damn bills that go with it. And you'll be sending me Christmas cards at San Quentin telling me how fucking happy you are. It'll happen...you watch...because you deserve it. Someone like me, no. You're different man. You're gonna make it out of here. I'll see to that."  
  
Ryan let his brother's words roll around in his head. He didn't necessarily believe what he heard, but after the night he'd had, it was nice to pretend it could be true. Even if it was only until the sun came up.  
  
"When was the last time you got some decent sleep Ryan?"  
  
Shrugging his shoulders he looked at Trey. He couldn't remember. He basically resorted to napping whenever time allowed. He didn't really 'sleep' any more.  
  
"Alright come on. Lay down."  
  
"Trey...I'm okay. I don't..."  
  
"Hey. I'm here man. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you on my watch. Okay? That bastard will sleep until at least ten. That's a good six hours, which I think is a record for you these days. Come on man. I know you're tired."  
  
Nodding, Ryan agreed. "I'm tired. I'm tired of all of it."  
  
Nodding at Ryan, "Okay man, come on. Lay down. Try to lay on that ice pack. Keep it on your face as long as you can."  
  
"Trey...thanks," Ryan mumbled.  
  
"It's okay man. You get some sleep little brother."  
  
By the time Trey finished his cigarette and undressed, Ryan's hand slid off of the ice pack. He was out.  
  
..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....  
  
It had only been a matter of days since AJ clobbered Ryan with the whiskey bottle. Ryan was doing everything in his power to avoid AJ and he had done a pretty good job until today. His bike lay next to AJ's toolbox where he was working on his car. In order to avoid AJ for the rest of the night, Ryan had to get his bike and scram. The farther he was from AJ, the better his chances of spending the night unscathed.  
  
He knew walking over to get his bike would result in a fifty-fifty chance of an exchange with AJ. He would take those odds if it meant avoiding him for the rest of the night. Attempting to stay low on AJ's radar, Ryan walked across the grass in a straight path to his bike. His eyes kept track of AJ under the hood of the car. Just as his hands grasped the handlebars, that familiar condescending tone rang in his ears.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?"  
  
Ryan could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Just for a ride."  
  
"Just for a ride huh? What did you do with my tools?"  
  
"Tools?"  
  
"Don't you dare play dumb with me you little bastard!" AJ rose from under the hood of the car and stared at Ryan. "Your bike was by my toolbox and now I'm missing tools."  
  
This was bad. Ryan never laid one finger on AJ's stuff. Ever. Experience told Ryan AJ probably did something with them when he was drunk at some point, and now he couldn't remember what he did with them. Ryan always took the fall for these sorts of things. Unfortunately for Ryan, AJ never believed him and this situation was only going to get worse.  
  
"AJ...I didn't touch the tools. I swear..."  
  
"You little fucking liar! What's it gonna take to get through to you Ryan?" Throwing his work rag down on the ground in anger, AJ picked up a tire iron and started crossing the yard in Ryan's direction.  
  
Completely stricken with fear, Ryan let his bike drop to the ground and began backing away from AJ. Pleading with AJ, his eyes welled up with tears. "AJ, please don't do this. I swear. I never touched your tools. I didn't do any work on my bike. I didn't touch them, I swear!"  
  
Lunging at Ryan, AJ swung the tire iron. Connecting with Ryan's midsection, Ryan felt a crack and cried out in pain. Blocking a second swing with his forearm, Ryan could feel pain shoot through his arm.  
  
Ryan screamed for his life, "Please! Please stop! No! NO! Stop!!! STOP!!!"   
  
..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....  
  
"Ryan? Ryan...sweetie? Wake up Ryan. Wake up. It's okay. We're here. Open your eyes sweetie."  
  
That voice. Ryan knew that voice but he couldn't place it. "No...no...leave me alone. Please...just stop. Please..."  
  
"We've got to wake him up. His heart is pounding so hard it's about to jump out of his chest! Ryan it's okay. You're safe here. Open your eyes and it will all end honey. Just open your eyes."  
  
Ryan didn't know why he obeyed the voice, but he opened his eyes. It was morning. Sitting next to him was Kirsten. Her face was full of concern and her attention was one hundred percent directed at Ryan.  
  
"There you go. It's okay. We're all here," she soothed, stroking the side of his face.  
  
"Don't. There's blood there," Ryan explained, pulling her hand away.  
  
Kirsten and Sandy shared a look of apprehension. Clearly part of Ryan was still stuck between worlds, stuck between reality and dreaming.  
  
Ryan got concerned himself when it seemed Kirsten didn't understand. "I didn't take the tools. I didn't..." He could hardly control his breathing and tears escaped from his eyes and ran down into his hair.  
  
"Shhh...It's okay Ryan. You haven't done anything wrong. It was a dream honey. It's safe here. Do you know where you are?" Kirsten held his hand and looked at his confused face. For the first time he looked away from Kirsten and around the room. That was Sandy was sitting down by his feet. And Seth was standing on the other side of the coffee table, nervously rocking back and forth. Oh yeah, the coffee table. There sat his bottle of Snapple from the night before, next to the comic book he was reading last night, not to mention, a couple of controllers for the play station.  
  
Ryan started swallowing quickly and repeatedly, "Kirsten I don't feel so good."  
  
Springing into action, they pushed the coffee table closer to Ryan and quickly removed everything from the table.  
  
"It's okay Ryan, just lean over the table. Don't fight it son." Sandy could see Ryan was still a little out of it.  
  
Leaning over the table, Ryan began to dry heave. His body seized several times, even though nothing actually came out. When the spasm stopped, Ryan clamped his mouth shut and was breathing rapidly through his nose.  
  
"It's okay Ryan. Take your time. We're gonna help you get through this," Kirsten encouraged.  
  
"That's right son. Just try to relax. It'll stop just give it a minute." Trying to lighten things a bit, Sandy attempted to shift Ryan's attention elsewhere. "Look at the bright side, now you know Seth REALLY loves you because he's still here. I thought for sure he would have been gone after the first gag."  
  
Ryan was slowly returning. A half smile flickered across his mouth at Sandy's attempt at humor. "I'm okay. I'll be okay. I just...wanna lay down again."  
  
After he was settled back on the couch, Kirsten sat back down next to him, facing him. "That one was a doozie huh?" Kirsten had caught Ryan having nightmares before, but this one put them all to shame.  
  
Embarrassed, Ryan nodded, disturbed by the bits of the horror still flashing through his mind.  
  
Shaking her head, Kirsten brushed the shaggy hair out of his eyes. "I don't know what that monster did to you, and you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to...but I promise you here and now, that I will do whatever it takes to make sure he goes away...for good. He's not welcome here. Neither in person, nor in dreams."  
  
"I second that," Sandy offered. Jokingly he added, "Naked princess bed time stories might be helpful!"  
  
"SANDY!"  
  
"Well they'd certainly help him go to bed with happy thoughts!"  
  
"Hey Dad I second your second! And Ryan buddy, I can get you an X-men nightlight. Yeah it's a nightlight but it's X-men so that's still cool right? I mean whatever helps right?"  
  
"Oh my God! Ryan, I think maybe I spoke too soon! I think we're on our own!"  
  
"No...it's okay. Really. This is the sort of stuff that works." He thought on his words for a moment. "The shadows don't like happiness. I'm happy here. Hopefully sooner than later they'll go away for good."  
  
"Oh Ryan, that's music to my ears," Kirsten smiled at him, giving him a hug.  
  
"Me too, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up on those bedtime stories!"  
  
"Oh me either! I'm not giving up on the nightlight yet either," Seth added. "So mom, can Ryan do the Playstation now?  
  
"Seth..."  
  
"It's okay. The sooner I start thinking about something else, the better," Ryan explained, pulling himself up on the couch and grabbing a controller from the floor.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright?" Kirsten worried.  
  
"Yeah it was just...from the dream. I'll be okay." Ryan hoped Kirsten wouldn't delve into a further explanation.  
  
"Well...alright then. Ryan I'm going to get you some ginger ale." Seeing Ryan's look, she explains, "I'm a mom, you gagged...you're getting ginger ale." Smiling, Kirsten headed to the kitchen with Seth trailing behind her.  
  
"Yeah, I'm gonna get something to drink too. Be right back buddy,"  
  
Sandy used this opportunity to take a moment with Ryan. "You scared me son. That was a bad one."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"No, no. There's no reason to be sorry. I just....if you ever need anything, and I do mean anything, please don't be afraid to come to us. We would do anything for you Ryan. Especially if we knew it would help you."  
  
"I know. Thanks."  
  
"But Ryan," Seth interrupted. "Be sure to tell me first, because brothers share everything before the parents find out. Am I right?"  
  
"Right," Ryan acknowledged, sharing a smirk with Sandy.  
  
"Alright Dude, here we go. That Chino-nightmare better not have given you an edge man."  
  
"Prepare to have your ass handed to you."  
  
"Damn Ryan. I can see you're gonna be just fine." 


	2. Shedding Light On The Past

Chapter 2 as promised. I have toned it done a tad for those who had nightmares as a result of the first chapter...(hope your therapy sessions are going well...LOL)...but I kept enough of the angst for everyone to enjoy. Let me just say, I realize the Ryan we know isn't ready to talk about his past...but...that's the perks of being the storyteller. In this one, Ryan might be ready to admit to a thing or two. Without further ado and babbling....ENJOY!

Sitting at the patio table with nothing but his cup of coffee and his thoughts, Ryan absorbed the sunshine and the fresh air. He hadn't felt this awake in a long time. Clearly, this was the payoff of actually being able to sleep at night.

Several days had passed since Ryan's last bout with the nightmares. Kirsten was watching over him day and night, like a hawk. He could tell she was exhausted. He knew she must be getting up several times a night to check on him and he didn't know how she managed to function at work during the day on such little sleep. She never complained. Never even admitted she was tired. And Ryan never admitted it out loud, but he liked the treatment. He liked being checked in on. He liked the nights when she'd pull his blanket over him when she thought he was asleep. It helped him rest at night knowing someone worried about him. Someone actually cared.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear Kirsten come out onto the patio.

"Morning Ryan. Mind if I join you?"

"Yeah, sure."

"You look well rested. Did you have a good night?"

Ryan found the irony in that comment was the fact that Kristen, although completely made up and ready for work, looked like she was hoping to go back to bed instead.

"Yeah it was good." Pausing, he delicately skirted the issue of her nighttime watch. "You know, you don't have to check on me so often. I'll be okay."

Smiling at Ryan, she wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, "I'm sure you would be Ryan. I just can't seem to let go of how bad that one night was for you. That's what keeps me up at night. I can't seem to sleep unless I can see that you're sleeping."

Not knowing what to say to that, Ryan dropped his head and concentrated on his own cup of coffee. The silence seemed to last forever.

"Can I...ask you something Ryan?"

Raising his eyes to Kirsten, he blinked at her several times before nodding. He knew this question was going to be about something he didn't want to talk about.

"The nightmares Ryan. When you have them, are they...are they real?"

Returning his stare to his coffee cup, "What do you mean?"

"The things you see in your dreams...the things that upset you. Are they things that really happened to you?"

Nervously Ryan sat back in his chair and gaped out toward the ocean. Kirsten could see his chest rising and falling rapidly. She knew this was a sensitive subject for him. After some contemplation, he nodded in acknowledgement and turned to see her reaction.

"Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that. Now you're not going to sleep at all."

"No, it's okay. I'd like to know." She hesitated, fighting with her conscience about whether or not to ask him anything further. Ryan had worked hard at burying these sorts of things. She wasn't sure if she was doing him good or doing him harm by talking about them.

"I don't want you to feel you have to talk about this if you don't want to Ryan."

"I just won't answer you if I don't want to," he replied flatly.

"Fair enough. Do you remember the dreams you had the other night?" She watched Ryan take a labored breath and his concentration now turned to a potted plant on the patio. With his eyes fixated on the flowers, he nodded. "When I woke you up, I touched your face. You told me not to, that there was blood there. Do you remember that?"

Ryan's head didn't move but his eyes shot to the side. Even though they weren't making eye contact, Kirsten knew he was reading her. She could sense the wheels in his head turning a hundred miles an hour. Ryan's answers on things of this nature were always curt and well guarded. Kirsten would expect nothing different out of this 'conversation'. Returning his gaze to the flowerpot, he nodded again.

"Was that...real?" As much as Kirsten hoped Ryan would answer that, she truly expected him to tell her he'd had enough. That he was done talking. Not to mention, there was a part of her that was afraid to hear the truth.

Ryan slowly closed his eyes and dropped his head down to his chest. When he opened his eyes again, he locked his gaze on his hands in his lap. And to Kirsten's surprise, he spoke.

"He hit me with a bottle. Jack Daniels. He was drunk. He hurled it at me from about ten feet away. It hit me in the head and it shattered. Cut me."

Kirsten's mouth dropped open. Releasing her grip on her mug, she allowed herself to drop back in her chair and now it was her turn to stare at the ocean. When Ryan shared these bits of himself, his past, she had a hard time relating the boy in the stories to the boy that lived in her home. Sure he got into some trouble now and then, but nothing she would have ever considered beating him senseless over. These glimpses into his life held the key to everything. Why he felt he didn't deserve things, why he kept his mouth shut most of the time, why he handled problems with his fists and most importantly, why he didn't trust anyone.

Shaking her head, Kirsten absent-mindedly asked another question. "Why did he throw it at you?"

"I came home late and the house was a mess. They'd been fighting, my Mom and AJ. I asked what happened."

Kirsten waited for the rest of the explanation.

"That's all there is. That's the reason."

Stunned, Kirsten shook her head as if she made a statement that required emphasis.

"He threw the bottle at me. It hit me and broke. He punched me in the stomach, then he pulled my hair and sent me to my room."

Ryan watched her take in the information. Part of him was embarrassed for telling. Part of him was afraid for telling. It was an unspoken rule. You never talk about the abuse because it always comes back to haunt you. But this was different. He found himself feeling better talking to Kirsten. She was different. It was almost like a release from his past. Very few people knew the truth about Ryan's past. He definitely didn't want Kirsten to know everything. But he found something soothing about talking to her. Even about difficult topics, like his past.

"And I think I said something about tools right?" Ryan continued.

Putting her elbow on the patio table, Kirsten covered her mouth and looked at Ryan with teary eyes. She was the one nodding now, acknowledging his question.

Looking away, Ryan composed himself to give her another explanation. He started speaking to the flowerpot before turning his attention to Kirsten.

"A few days after the bottle incident, my bike was laying on the grass next to his tool box. When I tried to get it to leave, he claimed I stole his tools to work on my bike." Shrugging, Ryan drew invisible circles on the patio table. "I guess he didn't think I learned my lesson from the bottle because he came at me with a tire iron. He broke one of my ribs and he fractured my wrist."

Tears were flowing freely from Kirsten's eyes. She couldn't hide it anymore. She couldn't comprehend how someone could be so mean to this kid. She also couldn't understand how Ryan could talk about these events so dryly as if they were nothing. Then again, this had been his life for years and years. None of this came as a shock to him the way it did to Kirsten.

"That's why I was gagging that morning. The bad ones...it's almost like I can feel it happening to me all over again. You'll never know how relieved I was that I didn't throw up on your coffee table."

"Ryan if something like that does happen, don't even think twice about it. That would be the least of my worries." Pausing, "Thank you Ryan."

"For what?" a nervous laughed escaped and he narrowed his eyes at Kirsten.

"For telling me those things, for trusting me with that information. That means a lot to me."

Raising his eyebrows, he tried to take in that comment. No one ever talked to him like that. It seemed people were more interested in him keeping his mouth closed.

"Just, promise me you won't tell Seth any of this. I don't want him asking me questions about...anything. It was hard enough telling you."

"You have my word. What's talked about on the patio, stays on the patio."

At that moment Sandy opened the door and joined them. "Good morning. I see everyone is enjoying their cup of cof..." Sandy's morning welcome stopped cold in it tracks when he saw Kirsten trying to discreetly wipe the tears from her eyes. Likewise, Ryan was nervously shifting in his seat and seemed awfully interested in his cup of coffee right at that moment. Looking back and forth at the two of them, Sandy wasn't sure who to ask what happened or who he should be more concerned for. "Did I interrupt something? I can go back in..."

Ryan didn't move. Kirsten however jumped out of her seat and tried to make the awkward moment vanish as quickly as possible. "Oh no Sandy it's nothing. Really. Ryan and I were just...bonding." She gave a smile and pecked Sandy's cheek. "I need more coffee." Looking at Ryan, she threw him a wink and a smile before disappearing into the house.

Pulling up a chair, Sandy sat down next to Ryan. "You okay kid?"

"Yeah. We were just talking."

Sandy stared at Ryan. Ryan stared at the ocean. Whatever they talked about, he could see Ryan was still thinking about it. "What are you thinking about?"

Ryan's eyes shot to Sandy. Reading. This kid was a genius when it came to calculated comments. Ryan had an amazing way of revealing only what he wanted you to know and nothing more. And that's if he trusted you enough to reveal an answer in the first place.

"I'm thinking Seth will be up soon and he's gonna want to go to the pier. The new edition of Legion is out today."

Sandy chuckled to himself. The gates of information on Ryan Atwood had just slammed closed. It was obvious he had shared something with Kirsten. And whatever it was, Ryan was determined to keep it between them. Knowing better than to press Ryan too far, Sandy went along with Ryan's lead, "I hope you're hungry. You know you'll be eating soon if Seth is taking you to the pier. I honestly don't know how he can eat as much as he does and stay so skinny. My guess is, you'll be eating Balboa Bars by ten o'clock."

Ryan's half smile expressed relief. He knew Sandy was aware of much more than he was letting on. He could see Sandy was handling him with kid gloves. In a twisted sense, he enjoyed the fact that someone was going out of their way to not upset him. So different from what he was used to. Yet it was something he just might allow himself to get used to.

"I'm going to need more coffee if I'll be eating Balboa Bars in another hour." Sharing a look with Sandy, both frowned at the idea of eating such a thing so early in the morning and Ryan stood up with his cup and went into the kitchen.

As if someone had signaled a changing of the guards, Kirsten emerged with a fresh cup of coffee and set herself down next to Sandy. Sipping from her steaming cup, she locked her vision on the ocean out in front of her. "Sandy, if the wheels in your head were any louder, Ryan will hear it back in the kitchen."

"You can hear that? I thought I was being discreet. It's just that you both looked so upset. Is he okay?"

Nodding, "I think he's okay, for now, or until the next thing from his past comes along to turn him inside out again. I promised him I wouldn't share what he told me." Looking at Sandy, she didn't want to keep secrets from her husband, but on the other hand, right now it was more important that Ryan knew he could come to her in confidence.

"I understand. If he opened up to you, that's great. Take that and run with it. Whether he realizes it or not, it's his way of showing he is getting a little bit comfortable here. I just wish we could do more. I wish there was a magic pill we could give him to wipe out all the bad things that were done to him in the past and replace it with good things. Happy things.

"One day at a time Sandy. We can't undo the bad things over night. He'll be okay. He just needs time."

............................................................

Looking out the kitchen window, Ryan watched the Cohen's interacting on the patio. They were so easy to read. They didn't know how to put walls up. They had no 'poker face'. Ryan liked that. For once the people he was dealing with were the genuine article. They said what they meant and they meant what they said. There was no guessing involved. Still he couldn't help but have some anxiety at the information he revealed to Kirsten. It made him feel better talking to her but know he had scenarios racing through his head regarding the outcome of that misjudgment. Visions of being run to therapy sessions for dream interpretations ran through his head. He knew better than anyone that there was nothing to interpret. The horror was real. But normal people, non-abused people, had a hard time fathoming something so terrible could be real without there being an underlying reason. Maybe Kirsten would let it slide. She wasn't telling Sandy about their little talk. Ryan could tell by their interaction there was nothing being revealed. Maybe it will all just go away. Maybe...

"And good morning to you, Mr. Atwood." Seth was especially chipper this morning. Clearly he was excited about getting his hands on the latest comic.

Ryan eyed his newly acquired 'brother' with reservation. "What time are we heading to the pier?"

"Whenever you're done with that coffee. It's not a new cup is it? Because if it's a new cup we won't be able to get there right when the store opens and I'd like to get there right when the store opens. So, is it? A new cup of coffee?"

"Tell you what...I'll skip the rest of my coffee if you promise me I don't have to eat a Balboa Bar."

In true over dramatic fashion, Seth gawked at Ryan in utter shock. "Ryan man, come on! You can't go to the pier and NOT have a Balboa Bar!"

"Seth, it's nine-thirty in the morning."

"Yeah, so? The comic store opens at ten, and then we'll get a Bar. That's almost a whole hour away. Don't be so dramatic. You'll be ready by then. Let's go."

Shaking his head, Ryan gulped what was left of his coffee and followed Seth out the door.

............................................................

The sun was deep in the western sky when Ryan headed into the kitchen for an evening snack. Every muscle in his body tensed when he realized Caleb was in the kitchen talking to Kirsten. Having already set foot in the kitchen, it was too late to turn around and walk back out with out it being obvious what, or rather who, was the problem.

"Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in." Caleb's attempt at sarcasm caused Ryan's heart to pound. That comment reminded him of something AJ would have said to him. Ryan was unnerved at some of the similarities between AJ and Caleb. Both were arrogant as hell. Both hated Ryan. Both had the cold searing stares down pat. Both could be intimidating without really trying and when they were trying, they could be downright terrorizing. Ah, and the most obvious relation between the two...neither wanted Ryan around.

"Dad, leave him alone. Ryan can I get you something?" Kirsten offered, trying to stomp out the spark that was now smoldering between the two men in her kitchen.

Forcing himself to pull his eyes off of Caleb, he acknowledged Kirsten, "No...I mean...I just came in for a drink." Slowly crossing the kitchen, Ryan watched Caleb out of the corner of his eye. He didn't' trust him any farther than he could throw him. And, considering the size difference between the two, that spoke volumes.

Ryan opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a bottle of Snapple as Caleb resumed his discussion with Kirsten about one of the developments. The conversation took a heated turn when Caleb started complaining that work wasn't being completed fast enough on the development due to Kirsten being distracted by other things. Ryan couldn't help but turn around and glare at Caleb for making that comment. He knew it was about him.

The conversation continued to escalate with Kirsten defending her work and her family. Caleb's voice was raging. Ryan was thinking this was probably a good time to make himself scarce when Caleb's flailing arm flew unexpectedly in Ryan's direction. Not only did Ryan panic, he resorted to what history had taught him to do...duck and cover. Using his arms to shield his head, he turned away from Caleb. The sudden movement caused him to drop his Snapple bottle and it shattered on the kitchen floor. Ryan could feel his face getting hot with nervous sweat while the kitchen fell silent.

"Oh my God! Ryan...Ryan, it's okay he didn't mean to...he wasn't going to hurt you." Kirsten realized, no matter what she said, her Dad's actions were going to stay recorded in Ryan's mind as a near miss.

Eventually Ryan lowered his arms. His breathing was rapid and his hands were shaking. He looked from Kirsten to Caleb to the broken bottle on the floor. "I broke the bottle."

"Ryan, it's okay. I'll take care of it."

"Wait just a minute," Caleb interrupted with no regard for tact. "You mean you thought I was going to hit you? What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Dad! Stop it! Just be quiet for now!"

Ryan would have loved to have pointed out that with that tone of voice, Caleb would fit right in with Chino's finest when it came to abusive, condescending adults. But before he could finish that thought, embarrassment washed over him and his chest tightened.

"I broke the bottle," he repeated.

"You said that already. We got it the first time. Ki Ki, he needs help. He should be admitted somewhere."

"DAD!!! SHUT UP!!!"

Admitted somewhere. That was the last straw. Ryan nervously looked around for an out.

"Ryan honey, don't move. You're barefoot...the glass! WAIT!"

But Ryan didn't wait. He leaped toward the living room doorway and ran for the front door.

"Hey Ry. Where are you..." the front door slammed as Seth's inquiry was cut short when he reached the bottom stair. Stepping outside onto the driveway, Seth found Ryan holding his chest and gasping for air.

"Oh my God! Ryan? Ryan what's wrong?"

"I can't....breathe..." Ryan gasped.

"I'm getting my Mom don't move!" Racing into the foyer, Seth yelled through the house. "MOM! Come quick! It's Ryan!"

"Oh now what is the matter with that boy?" Caleb complained. "I'm telling you Ki Ki, he's a handful. Not sure you made the right decision here."

Standing up from the floor, Kirsten angrily slammed the folded towel with the glass shards onto the countertop. Disgusted and infuriated, "There is nothing wrong with him other than the fact that people like you treat him the way you do. And I won't have it. Not in my house. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to help my son!" Turning her back to a shocked Caleb, Kirsten ran to the front door.


	3. An Unexpected Ally

Sorry to keep y'all waiting! Hopefully Ryan's not too blue by now! : D In this chapter Ryan gets 'backed up' by an unexpected source. I like the way this chapter turned out and hope you enjoy it!

Out on the driveway, Seth was beside himself. He didn't know what to do with Ryan. One minute he'd tell him to walk it off, the next he'd tell him to sit down. Then he'd tell him to put his head between his legs, saying something about blood flow to the head. He was thankful to see his Mom finally appear on the driveway.

"Mom! Hurry! I don't know what to do for him. He can't breathe. I've tried everything I can think of. What do we do? Should I call an ambulance?" Seth looked pale and on the verge of tears. Kirsten knew it pained him to see Ryan like this. Ryan was supposed to be the strong one.

"He's okay Seth. It's a panic attack. He just needs a minute to calm down."

"But he's not breathing! Listen to him! Does he sound okay to you because that doesn't sound okay to me!" The panic in Seth's voice was eminent by the squeak in his inflections.

"Seth...you're worked up. You're not helping Ryan calm down. Why don't you go in the house and get Ryan a glass of water." Kirsten realized Ryan had no desire for water at that moment, but the task would sidetrack Seth for the time being.

Walking over to Ryan, Kirsten took a chance on him. Putting her arms around him, she held him tight. "It's okay Ryan. Shhhh...calm down now. Control you're breathing. It's just us out here now. It's okay. It's gonna be fine." She coached him along with soothing instructions. It took several more minutes, but Ryan finally released his grip in his shirt and put his arms around her and just held onto her. The gesture brought a smile to Kirsten's face. "Oh sweetie. I'm sorry. He can be such an idiot sometimes."

"He's an asshole," Ryan muffled under his breath.

"Yes. He can be. I know how it looked and I don't blame you for reacting the way you did. But truth be told, my Dad has never raised a hand to another human being in all his years. He gets more pleasure out of ruining life with his words."

A restrained, sarcastic "Pffft!" escaped from Ryan as he realized Kirsten was probably right. In that sense he was the direct opposite of AJ. AJ could back up anything he said he would do, but Caleb was all mouth and nothing more. Ryan knew that. He got that impression from Caleb from the minute he met him. Now he was disappointed in himself for overlooking that fact and allowing Caleb to get the best of him. Still, Ryan was relaxing more and more as Kirsten's hand rubbed his back. He closed his eyes and took comfort in her nurturing.

Opening the front door, Caleb glanced down the driveway. Frustration coursed through his veins when he saw is daughter embracing that rotten kid. Why couldn't she just let this stray return to the streets where he belonged? He couldn't understand that. Then it happened. He watched Kirsten raise her arm to hold Ryan's head to her shoulder, stroking his hair. Soothing him. That gesture had history. That was the same way she would comfort Seth during his trials and tribulations. And that was the same way Kirsten's Mom used to comfort her. Her Mom's kindness and warmth was still alive and well and presenting itself in Kirsten's gestures on the driveway at that very moment. That was the moment his tough shell cracked. Kirsten's Mom was always kind and generous to those who needed it most and now Kirsten, who was exemplifying the exact opposite of Caleb's demeanor, was living proof that pieces of the woman he once loved with all his heart still existed.

"You okay Grandpa?"

Seth's words startled Caleb. The man who had the power to control anything, and usually anyone, was speechless. The two shared a look before Caleb turned his attention back to Kirsten. When Seth realized what his Grandfather must have been thinking, he did his best to stop any bad thoughts in their tracks.

"He really is a good guy Grandpa. Just give him a chance."

Caleb looked at Seth with a blank stare. "Was his life really THAT horrible? Nobody's life is that horrible." It seemed Caleb was trying harder to reason with himself rather than ask Seth a question.

"His life really was that horrible." Pushing past his Grandpa, Seth continued down the driveway to deliver Ryan's glass of water.

"Mom is Ryan still sleeping? We're going to be late." Seth wandered through the kitchen stopping long enough to stare out the door at the pool house. Most of the shades were drawn and there was no sign of movement.

"Maybe you should go on ahead Seth and I'll drop him by later, when he wakes up. He didn't sleep so good last night." Sipping her cup of coffee, Kirsten stole a glance out the kitchen window at the pool house. All was quiet. She had checked on him practically every hour, on the hour, actually it was more than that. Even though she wanted him to rest, there was a part of her that was anxious for him to wake up. Obviously she couldn't see what his mind was showing him during his sleep and after the experience with Caleb, she just had a gut feeling that it wasn't good.

"Is he having nightmares again?"

"I'm not sure. He was tossing and turning a lot last night. Just very restless."

"It's because of what happened with Grandpa isn't it?"

Kirsten paused before nodding. She didn't like to admit that her own father was a great source of terror for a child that had been through enough terror to last him a lifetime. Child. Now there was a misused term if Kirsten ever heard of one. Her mind wandered wondering 'when' Ryan was actually allowed to be a child. Based on what she knew about him, it seemed impossible to have a childhood. Lost in her thoughts, she barely heard Seth say good-bye as he headed out for the day.

............................................................

Ryan peeled his eyes open and looked at the clock on his night table. 11:07. That can't be right. He was supposed to go with Seth to set up the banquet rooms at the country club at 9:30 for the Charity Fundraiser. Caleb's Charity Fundraiser. If that was right, then he was late. A sinking feeling engulfed his stomach. At that moment he couldn't fathom anything worse to wake up to than giving Caleb a reason to be angry with him and then have to spend the entire day with Caleb on top of that.

Slowly he sat up in his bed. His head was foggy and his thoughts were thick. Coffee. He needed coffee. As if he wished that coffee from a crystal ball, the door to the pool house opened and in stepped Kirsten with two cups of coffee.

"Ryan, good morning. I brought you some coffee." Kirsten's voice was quiet and Ryan noticed the black circles under her eyes as she handed Ryan his mug.

"So how many times did you check on me last night?" Ryan asked, nonchalantly sipping his coffee.

"Oh, not much. Just a couple of times."

Tipping his head back and raising his eyebrows, Ryan gave Kirsten a look and that look had "you're lying" written all over it.

"Maybe it was a few more times than that."

Ryan continued to stare.

"Oh come on! It wasn't more than three or four times," Kirsten joked. Hoping Ryan would drop the subject.

Shaking his head, "I'm not sure of the exact count because I did doze off from time to time, but I counted at least eight times." Cocking his head to the other side as if to say "I dare you to deny it", he waited for her rebuttal.

Nervously taping her own mug with her thumb, she met Ryan's stare. "Actually, I think it was closer to thirteen times, but, who's counting right?"

Now that made Ryan laugh. Thirteen times. Just incase something went wrong she checked on him thirteen times. Ryan recalled situations from his childhood, like the time he thought for sure he'd die from the stomach flu and his real Mom never even checked on him once.

"You don't have to do this today if you don't want to Ryan. It's up to you."

While Ryan appreciated the chance to get out of the commitment to Caleb, he also viewed it as showing Caleb he was weak, and that's something he wouldn't do. He had already allowed Caleb to see a side of him he would have never revealed to him. "Nah, it's okay. Besides someone's gotta make sure Seth is working."

"Okay then. Finish your coffee and get yourself together. We'll leave in a half hour."

The Rover pulled into the parking lot and that familiar feeling of dread started to swallow Ryan whole. His mind was racing ahead trying to prepare for whatever Caleb might have in store for him. Surely a comment about yesterday was looming. Caleb didn't have a soft side and Ryan was confident he was going to have a field day today at Ryan's expense.

Walking into the grand ballroom, Caleb's voice echoed through the empty room barking out orders to all the less than enthusiastic Newport kids.

"Hey Ryan. Nice to see the muscle has arrived." Seth was always relieved to have Ryan around. The Newport bullies he dealt with left him alone when Ryan was near by. "And since you're here, we may as well start you off with some heavy lifting."

Sending Seth a glare, Ryan was distracted by an approaching Caleb and an even bigger feeling of dread enveloped him.

"Well, nice of you to join us," Caleb said flatly.

Ryan's eyes shifted to the floor while Kirsten and Seth glared back at Caleb. Suddenly remembering what Seth had said the day before, as well as the gestures Kirsten had shown toward this boy, Caleb made a quick lane change.

"What? I meant that. We need all the help we can get today. How do you feel about relocating crates of glasses?"

"I told you you were going get the heavy lifting stuff," Seth whispered in Ryan's direction.

"Anything I can do to help, just tell me where you want them." Ryan was actually relieved to be put to work. That meant this little encounter with Caleb was already behind him.

Kirsten also took this as her cue to get going on her tasks for the event. "Since you boys seem to have everything under control, I'm going to find the Director and see what else she needs from me. I'll see you guys after set up." With a reassuring pat on Ryan's shoulder, she left the banquet room.

"Okay Ryan, this truck full of glasses was brought in special for the event. I'm sure I don't need to remind you not to drop any of them."

Nodding nervously, "I'll be careful."

"Good. Then off you go. Just bring them to the banquet room."

Once Caleb disappeared through the doorway, Ryan realized he was the only person on the dock. He found this odd since he knew Caleb didn't trust him any more than he trusted Caleb. Still, he was happy to be working alone. Making several trips back and forth to the truck proved this was going to be a long task. Ryan had already moved about fifteen crates of glasses and it looked like he barely made a dent in the truck.

Making another trip back to the truck, Ryan lagged in the back hallway. He was starting to get just a bit bored with this chore. It was mundane. He kept trying to remind himself at least he didn't have to be around the snotty Newport kids or around Caleb. No. This task was just fine with him. There were worse things he could be doing.

Staring at the floor tiles, his concentration was interrupted by a voice. The voice startled him and stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Well I'll be damned. Look who I found. What are the odds huh? I know you're probably asking yourself that question right now. You're quite the busy little beaver aren't you?"

Stunned, "What are you doing here AJ?" Ryan stammered.

"Who do you think drove the truck dumb ass?"

The truck, of course. Whenever AJ needed money he'd contract himself out for temporary work as a driver. That's how he got to Newport. The fact that they crossed paths today was sheer dumb luck. The bad news was, there was no one around to help Ryan and chances were, AJ knew that.

"We're getting low on glasses. Is there more?" one of the Newpsie kids whined, not that they wanted to work anyway.

"How can we be getting low on glasses? There's an entire truck full of them out on the dock." Caleb sighed, "Let me go see what the delay is."

Caleb left the ballroom mumbling to himself about Ryan. "This was a simple task. Why can't the kid handle a simple task?" Caleb said out loud to no one in particular. He had every intention of giving Ryan his little 'Time is money' speech when he reached the dock. Obviously this kid can't relate to the money that's wrapped up in this shindig but Caleb wanted to get his point across regardless. Entering the back hall, Caleb heard voices. This infuriated him because he purposely put Ryan on the dock so he'd be behind the scenes and away from everyone else. But as he neared the corner near the dock, he was able to grasp the gist of the conversation between two men. Halting himself just before the corner, Caleb eavesdropped on the conversation.

"You think this is gonna last Ryan? No one wants you here. It's only a matter of time before you come back to Chino to live with your Mom and me."

"That's not true. These people aren't like you. They care about me. I'm not going back to Chino."

Caleb's curiosity got the best of him and he positioned himself to see around the corner without being seen.

The teen's comment set a flame under AJ and he moved in closer. "You're not going back to Chino? Says who?" Getting right in Ryan's face, "You should call your mother. You haven't talked to her since you left."

"Pffft," Ryan shook his head. "I'm not calling her." For a change, Ryan's voice was unwavering. He wasn't giving in. Not this time.

AJ resorted to doing what AJ did best, scare tactics. Grabbing a fist full of hair on the back of Ryan's head, he slammed him up against the wall. Caleb felt himself flinch as AJ continued to threaten the boy.

"I told you to call your mother." AJ's words were drawn out for emphasis.

Again, shaking his head, "No. She left me. Not once, but twice. I don't have anything to say to her."

Enraged with Ryan's stubbornness, AJ cocked his hand back and punched Ryan dead in the face.

"Stop it! That is enough!"

Thinking they were alone, the voice caught AJ off guard as he was pulling his arm back for another assault. He looked at Ryan whose attention was on the mystery man and laughed. "You think this guy can save you? No one can save you Ryan. No one wants to save you." With his hand still clutching Ryan's hair, he jerked his head back into the wall. Clenching his eyes shut, Ryan let out of groan of pain.

"I said that is enough!" The mystery man stepped up to AJ, causing him to back off of Ryan.

Frozen in his spot, Ryan turned only his eyes and stared at Caleb, his chest rising and falling rapidly trying to stay in control. Caleb could see the boy was just as apprehensive about him as he was about his attacker. The way Ryan saw it he was in the worst imaginable place...in a back hallway with Caleb and AJ. The two men on the face of the earth he wished he never had crossed paths with. This was a living nightmare.

"What do you care about this kid old man? He's nothing but a punk." AJ hadn't changed. He always had to have the last say so and it came as no surprise to Ryan that he had to get one more dig in.

"For your information, this 'punk' happens to be my new Grandson and no one treats a member of my family like that. Especially not without answering to me."

Ryan and AJ both looked at Caleb dazed and confused. AJ couldn't believe Ryan was right and there were people here who did seem to care about him. For whatever reason, this old man sure seemed to have an interest in him. And Ryan was equally as shocked that Caleb actually referred to him as his Grandson.

"Now," Caleb continued, "I heard you say you're the driver of this truck and if that's true, then that means you're actually working for me. And by the way, you're fired."

Ryan closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, just waiting for AJ's verbal assault against Caleb. Nothing happened. Opening his eyes he found the two men staring each other down.

"Incase you're wondering just how badly you've screwed up today, I'm going to tell you," Caleb continued. "My name is Caleb Nichol. Do you know how I am?"

AJ glanced at Ryan almost as if he was looking for help with the answer to that question. When he didn't answer, Caleb filled in the blanks for him.

"I'm a very powerful man in this town. In your terms...I'm not someone you want to fuck with! I'm going to warn you one time and one time only to stay away from Ryan."

AJ laughed out loud at the old man's threat. "Or what? What can you do? You can't make my life any harder than it is!"

A devilish grin formed across Caleb's lips as he narrowed his eyes on AJ. "I think you're parole officer would be very interested in all that cocaine and stolen property that's in your truck. That would be strike three for you. You'd be facing 15 years in jail."

Swallowing hard, AJ got Caleb's drift and again looked to Ryan and Ryan wasn't looking at anyone. He stood quietly against the wall, rather happy to be left out of this mess for the moment. "You wouldn't go through with it old man, that's just an idle threat," AJ retorted.

"How bad do you want to find out?" Caleb answered, not giving an inch. "Stay away from Ryan or I'll make your current life look like Club Med compared to the hell that will await you if you mess with me. I suggest you leave immediately before I contact security. That would be bad for you."

In all the years he'd known him, Ryan had never seen AJ back down from anyone. Ever. He wasn't sure what it was about what Caleb said, but AJ took a few steps back. Ryan knew he was looking at him but he refused to meet his gaze. Finally AJ turned and left.

A new wave of terror washed over Ryan as he waited for Caleb to say something. His mind ran through the various comments that would spill forth from Caleb's mouth once he got going and none of the comments would be good. Startled after the long silence, he jumped when Caleb spoke.

"Ryan...let's see that eye." Reaching out towards Ryan's face, Caleb could see the boy pressing himself back into the wall and turning his face away as if he was preparing to be hit again. The move left Caleb unsettled.

"Right. Me and my arms. I've got to work on that."

Ryan turned only his eyes to Caleb and he was doing his best to hide the fact that he was trembling. It wasn't working. Caleb could see the boy was still just as terrified of him.

"Ryan, that man that was here. Who was that?"

Not wanting to answer that question, Ryan let his eyes trail across the wall. This came as no surprise to Caleb. He had never given Ryan a reason to trust him. But he tried again.

"Is that the man...the man that hurt you?"

Ryan's eyes locked with Caleb's. Clearly Caleb could see he struck a nerve with that question. Without Ryan saying a word, he knew that was the man that hurt this kid. Seth had told him the truth. This kid had it rough and after what he just saw, maybe, just maybe, he was starting to understand him.

"Tell you what, how about we get you some ice for that eye and maybe...a little something for that headache. Hmm? Come on. I'll get some of the others to finish the glasses. You've run circles around most of them today anyway."

Ryan wasn't sure what to make of Caleb's gesture, but he wasn't sure he had a choice in the matter either. He followed Caleb to a private room with a private bar. Glancing around, Ryan noted all the exits available since he was convinced Caleb would start in on him at some point.

Handing a bar towel packed with ice over to Ryan, "Here, get this up on that eye. I'll keep the swelling down."

"Thanks."

Caleb was helping himself to some of the Scotch when Ryan noticed him pouring two glasses. Placing one glass in front of Ryan, "And this is for your headache. Do not tell Kirsten. If she finds out I gave that to you, it's every man for himself."

Ryan eyed the glass.

"It's okay Ryan. If I had to put up with that ape we met in the hallway, I would have been drinking at a young age too." Clinking glasses with Ryan's glass, Caleb took a swig of his drink.

Picking up his own glass, Ryan took a healthy taste of his own drink. He knew it would take the edge off his headache. "You're the last person in the world I expected to be sharing a drink with."

"You didn't even flinch. All I half to do is show Seth the bottle and it turns him inside out." There was an awkward silence before Caleb continued. "I don't apologize often Ryan. Kirsten can vouch for that, although, I'm sure you already know that. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting my family. After what I saw today..." Caleb concentrated on his drink, letting his explanation fade away.

"It's okay. I get it," Ryan offered, hoping the conversation would come to an end.

"No Ryan, it's not okay. I can be an asshole. I know that. But I don't ever want to be considered in the same category as that ape that hurt you."

Ryan didn't know what to say after that. Agreeing with Caleb that he could be an asshole was the wrong thing to do since the guy just saved him from AJ. Luckily, the door to the room swung open and both men were saved from saying anything further.

"Thank God!" Kirsten exclaimed. "Oh my God! Ryan what happened to your face? What happened to his face?" she asked, looking at Caleb who was at a loss for words. "You gave him Scotch???" Confused Kirsten looked back and forth at the two men. "Please tell me you didn't do that to him..." Kirsten's look told Caleb he better have the right answer for this one.

"I didn't do that to him, some guy named AJ did that to him," Caleb explained.

Kirsten turned to Ryan who only raised his eyebrows before repositioning the ice pack on his eye. In the language of 'Ryan', that meant, "Yes, it's true."

"Oh my God!" Reaching forward, Kirsten grabbed what was left of Ryan's Scotch and downed it.

"Hey, that was for Ryan's headache!" Caleb protested.

"No Dad, that was for MY headache!"


	4. When Shadows Follow

So hang onto your hats with this chapter! And have some chocolate handy...you're gonna need it! While nothing happens to Ryan physically, he's about to go through the emotional wringer! But have no fear, when you're at the bottom, the only place to go is up! Some good angst in this one!! Wait till you see what the future brings for this one! More to come! Enjoy and please drop me a review.

WHEN SHADOWS FOLLOW

The kitchen was alive with conversation as Kirsten, Sandy and Caleb discussed what should be done about the assault on Ryan. Chatter bantered between who should be contacted, what sort of punishment was expected for the perpetrator and it was even mentioned about keeping Ryan close to home until AJ was arrested.

"You guys...I'm right here..." Ryan tried to interject but the rest of the room kept right on rambling.

"What kind of animal treats a child that way?" Caleb's voice filled the kitchen. Even though the topic was in Ryan's favor, he was still wishing he could just shrink away into one of the cabinets. "I don't know who we should contact first...the police, child services..."

Child Services. That comment automatically made Ryan sick to his stomach. Visions of some underpaid, uncaring social worker showing up armed to the teeth with questions and folders, specifically his healthy sized folder, who would pay attention only long enough to make him relive what happened and then do nothing about it plagued his mind. Other than to further piss off AJ who would undoubtedly be questioned as part of the investigation, calling Child Services held no purpose. Ryan knew this. But in Newport, people still felt other people could help them. Save them. He knew better.

"It would be better...for me...if we just dropped it," Ryan offered quietly, trying to not make eye contact with anyone else in the kitchen.

"Drop it? Are you kidding me? They guy used you for a punching bag! I saw the whole thing!" Caleb couldn't believe the boy's suggestion.

"Wow. If I hadn't known better Cal I'd think you were almost concerned for Ryan."

Throwing a dirty look at Sandy, "Mock me if you will Sanford. You didn't see it. The boy did nothing wrong."

"Oh. So if he had done something wrong...he would have deserved it?"

"Don't put words in my mouth Sandy! No one deserved anything."

Ryan shook his head listening to the two argue. He knew Sandy was just putting salt on an open wound considering Caleb had basically admitted he was concerned for this scrapper of a kid he had gone out of his way to ignore.

"Sandman, you better pull some strings and get this guy in the system."

"Pffft!" Ryan's show of disgust got everyone's attention.

"You mean you don't want him locked up? You can't be serious!" Caleb dictated.

Ryan had about enough of all of this. Deciding he couldn't take it any more, he raised his voice above all the others, "You're all sitting her talking about who should be called and who should do what to whom and how AJ needs to be sent to jail. Locked down. Put in the system. It's easy to talk about the system thinking it works. I've lived the system and for your information it's broken."

Silence fell over the kitchen. No one knew what to say to Ryan. Caleb wasn't used to being contradicted and didn't appreciate Ryan's comment. Then again he knew he was on thin ice with this kid and decided to keep his mouth closed. Kirsten's heartstrings pulled for Ryan. She didn't know much about his past, but what she did know told her this kid just might be right. Sandy stood leaning on the breakfast bar, saddened by the fact that Ryan didn't believe the system could help him. After all, it was the system that brought him to the Cohen's house in the first place. But of everyone in the kitchen, Sandy knew Ryan was right. The system was full of cracks, niches and loopholes. All of which made the system flawed even in the most obvious of circumstances.

"Ryan what do you suggest we do?" Sandy offered.

Pausing for a moment, Ryan raised his head to look at Sandy. That familiar flame was still there in his eyes but Sandy easily recognized that the fight was not in Ryan...at least, not tonight.

"My life to this point has been filled with situations that required payback, retaliation and punishment of some sort. If you, or anyone else, do something to make AJ 'pay' for what happened this afternoon, AJ will find a way to retaliate, to pay me back, a way to punish me. Some way, some how he always gets the last word in. It won't end here unless we end it here." Again the room fell silent. No one had considered the possibility of AJ acting out against Ryan again. "I just want it to stop. I don't want to fight him any more. I just..." Ryan's words trailed off and he looked away from Sandy. "I'm asking you not to do this. Leave it alone." With that Ryan stood up from the chair and went outside.

The cool night air felt good not only on his skin but in his lungs as well. The kitchen seemed to be strangling him as he sat there. Seating himself on a patio chair he stared out into the black, listening to the lull of the ocean off in the distance. "This would be perfect," he thought to himself. I could get lost in that darkness. That lull. But there was no time to get lost when he heard footsteps approaching.

"Ryan? Is it okay if we come sit with you for a minute?" Kirsten's voice was quiet and concerned. Ryan knew where this was leading.

"Sure," he sighed.

As they took a seat on either side of him, Ryan leaned forward and centered his attention on his shoes.

"Ryan..." Sandy began. "We want to do right by you with this. As your guardians, it's our job to protect you. But in this case, we believe you might be right. Reporting this may not be the right thing."

Ryan's eyes slid to Sandy's side of the patio. Reading again. He wasn't sure what to make of Sandy's comment. Maybe Sandy was just telling him what he wanted to hear so that he'd calm down. Maybe Sandy would report the whole thing in the morning.

Sandy could see Ryan wasn't buying it. He glanced at Kirsten for help.

Sliding to the edge of her chair, she placed her hand on Ryan's arm. His eyes automatically tracked from Sandy to her hand. "Ryan, we admit we don't know anything about...handling these sort of things. We're trying to do what's best for you but maybe...maybe if you explained some things to us it would help."

Ryan's gaze left Kirsten's hand and scanned across the lawn until it locked on the pool. Kirsten could tell he was grinding his teeth by the movement in his jaw. Sharing another look, Kirsten and Sandy gave Ryan a minute to collect his thoughts, to see if he would offer anything. As if he was snapped out of his train of thought by an invisible force, he spoke.

"I don't know how to make everyone understand I just want to be left alone." Realizing that came out wrong, he quickly added to his statement. "I don't mean you guys. Both of you and Seth...you've shown me things can be different for a kid like me. Things can be...okay. Going to bat against AJ is a losing battle. People like him don't ever back down and they know how to make the system work for them. Sure you can have him locked up and that whole time he's gonna be stewing and planning and pissed at me. No matter what goes down he'll blame me. And eventually he will find me to make me pay for it. I've taken worse punishments for less. This will not have a good ending if you pursue it."

Thinking he could change the hopeless overtone of the conversation, Sandy offered a light at the end of the tunnel. "But Ryan, this is different this time. Kirsten and I would do everything in our power to make sure..."

"Right!" Ryan interrupted. "Just like the eleven social workers who said they'd stop him. 'This is the last time he'll hurt you Ryan.' If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me, I'd be able to buy your house! Social workers, doctors, cops...my mom...they all said it. No one stopped him from doing anything. As a matter of fact, all it did was make things worse. I once thought it was a good idea to tell a cop that AJ had coke in his car. I thought it would get him locked up for a while, give me a break." Shaking his head, Ryan squinted his eyes at the memory of it all. "You know what happened? AJ offered to split the coke with the cop if he forgot the whole thing. The cop took him up on his offer and when AJ asked how he knew about the coke, the cop gave me up in a heartbeat. An hour later I was in the emergency room getting my head sewn up in two places and getting my arm put in a cast."

Glancing at Kirsten, Sandy could see the pain in her eyes. Switching to Ryan he could see a gambit of emotions on his face...anger, sadness, frustration, even embarrassment. "Ryan," he started. "We will do whatever you want us to this time. If you want us to drop it this time, we'll drop it. But...If AJ should come after you again, as your guardians we will have no choice but to report him."

Raising his head Ryan nodded at Sandy. "Okay. I understand," he answered quietly. For once Ryan won a round against the adults. Even though he knew Sandy and Kirsten were on his side, the adults in his life rarely listened to what he had to say. Not only were the Cohens listening, they were doing what he asked even though he knew it was against their better judgment.

"I'm going to head to bed." Rising from his chair, Ryan paused and looked at Sandy and Kirsten. "Thanks...for listening."

It didn't take long for Ryan to get settled in his bed. His head was heavy with the stress of the day and he welcomed his dark, quiet room. It also didn't take long for Kirsten to sneak into his room to check on him.

"Kirsten, I just got in here. You have to give me at least ten minutes to fall asleep." Though his sleepy eyes were mocking her, that familiar spark twinkled in them. "Go to sleep tonight Kirsten. I'm fine. I'll be fine two hours from now and I'll be fine at 3 a.m., and I'll still be fine and asleep at 5 a.m. Don't worry about me. Tonight I'm okay."

Taking the blanket and tucking it in around Ryan, Kirsten sat on the edge of his bed. "But what about at 2 a.m. or at 4 a.m., what if you need something? I'm a mom. You're stopping me from doing my job." Kirsten joked.

Slowly shaking his head back and forth, Ryan raised his eyebrows at her. "Since when does being a mom mean running yourself ragged when there's nothing wrong?"

"I'm not running myself ragged. I'm protecting and watching over someone I love...and for that I would run myself ragged any day." Smiling at Ryan, she leaned over and kissed his forehead before standing up to leave.

An embarrassed half smile flickered across Ryan's mouth. "Okay fine. You're allowed to come in two more times. After that I'm locking the door."

Laughing, "Okay. It's a deal. Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow." Closing the door behind her and heading to bed herself, for the first time in a long time, she felt relaxed. Tonight everyone would rest. Tomorrow was a new day.

Considering the stress from the previous evening, Ryan slept like a rock. Kirsten could have come into his room a hundred times last night and he would have never known it. Shuffling his way to the kitchen for his wake up cup of coffee, he found Sandy and Seth already sipping their morning motivation.

"Hey Dad, look who's up. How's it going?"

"It'll be going much better once I have some coffee." Grabbing his own cup of java, he parked himself at the table.

"So who's going to go with me to the store?" Sandy inquired looking at both boys. Since both were still half asleep, he wasn't surprised by their lack of excitement over the question.

"I'll Ninja you for it..." Seth taunted.

"You got it."

Standing up, both boys headed to the den, sat down on the couch and grabbed a controller. Dismayed, Sandy turned in his seat to face the boys. "And exactly how does this work?" he asked.

"It's simple Dad. The loser has to go with you. It's nothing personal. It's just...you know...shopping's not really our thing. This is the politically correct way to handle it."

Laughing to himself, Sandy stood up to refill his coffee. "I'm being Ninja'd over." Shaking his head, he listened to the blips and yelling from the other room. Since neither boy was completely awake, it didn't take long before the game ended and Seth could be heard proclaiming his brilliant performance.

"I guess it's me, Sandy," Ryan offered passing through the kitchen. "I'll be ready in ten minutes."

Meeting Sandy by the front door, Ryan threw Seth one of his signature looks to which Seth pretended to be guilty of no wrongdoing.

"Have a nice time you two," Seth mocked as they made their way to the door.

"Oh Seth," Sandy paused. "I left some files on the kitchen table. Do me a favor and just move them to the desk in the office. Your Grandfather is stopping by today and I don't want him poking through that stuff."

"Aye Aye Captain." Again, mocking, Seth headed in the direction of the kitchen as Sandy and Ryan went out the door.

Following his Dad's instructions, Seth placed the files on the desk in the home office. A particularly thick file on the edge of the desk caught his attention. The folder was old, covered with stains and torn. While Seth never paid much attention to his Dad's work or the cases he worked on, something about this file intrigued him. Crossing to the other side of the desk, he turned the file so he could read the label. The information on the label made his heart skip a beat. 'ATWOOD, RYAN'. The word JUVENILE was highlighted in hot pink highlighter. Knowing his Mom was at work and his Dad and Ryan had just left, this was the perfect opportunity to learn more about Ryan's past. The past he didn't like to talk about. While Seth and Ryan got along great, there was a part of Seth that struggled to understand the past Ryan had. After all, Seth had no basis for comparison. The world he was from was completely different. Yet he didn't want to betray Ryan. Reading this file would mean he knew all the things, or most of the things, that Ryan didn't want anyone to know. Hell even Kirsten had not looked at Ryan's file for fear of what she might find. Finally curiosity killed him and he opened the folder. While he tried to mentally prepare himself for anything he might find in there, nothing could have prepared him for what would be revealed about Ryan's past.

Taking a seat at the desk, Seth slowly turned page after page in the binder, accident report after accident report. He began to get the obvious feeling that these were no accidents. Polaroid photos were stapled to each report and the farther back in the file he went, the younger Ryan got. Without reading the reports themselves, Seth learned from the photos alone that Ryan had broken his arm broken twice and had received a countless quantity of stitches and more black eyes than he could keep track of. Paperwork dated back to Ryan being seven years old. The boy in all of the photos looked callous, beaten, bruised, and alone. Going back to the beginning of the folder where the most recent reports were, Seth started reading each and every report. Considering the way Ryan looked in these photos, he was amazed that every report basically cleared him to return to the home that was abusing him. "Claim Unfounded" was stamped on each and every one. Every report gave three or more sides to each event. There was Ryan's side, there was AJ's or his Mom's side and on occasion both, and then there was the opinion of Child Services. Completely engrossed by the reports Seth sunk deeper into the file in search of more information. While most of the reports showed Ryan claiming there was no problem, surely to keep quiet about what had truly happened, some of Ryan's statements screamed for help from Child Services. Like the one that said AJ hit him with a moving car when he was twelve, or another one that said AJ had put his head through the bathroom window when he was fourteen and yet another one saying AJ used a tire iron to break Ryan's bones when he was fifteen. Seth read out loud, "Juvenile claims that his mother's boyfriend beat him with an automobile tire iron. While juvenile does exhibit a broken rib and wrist, the interview with juvenile's mother and charged party (AJ) has warranted no attention from Child Services." Seth let out a sigh of disgust. "How about we look into it when he's dead. Maybe that would warrant some attention from you people. You're lucky he got out alive!"

Seth felt sick. He knew Ryan's life had been tough, but now he understood why his Mom never wanted to look at Ryan's file. This was too much information. Every document in the folder told a story and each one was a tragedy. Seth thought it was a miracle that Ryan was alive at all after living through so many horrible events. Even with the information right in front of him, Seth couldn't picture someone treating Ryan that way. It all seemed surreal.

Grabbing Ryan's file, Seth relocated to his bedroom floor on the far side of the room, a safe distance from the front door. He'd have time to hide the file and get it back to the office while his Dad and Ryan were tending to the groceries. Sitting on the floor, he continued flipping through the folder until he heard the front door open and his Dad call for help with unloading the car. Wanting to finish the page he was on, Seth got lost in thought and didn't hear Ryan enter his room.

"Hey man. What are you doing? Gonna come help?" Ryan asked, standing on the opposite side of Seth's bed.

Scared senseless by Ryan's close proximity, "Me? Oh...nothing...just reading some comics. I'll go with you." Seth nonchalantly pushed Ryan's file under his bed and followed Ryan out to the car.

Later that evening, everyone happened to be in the kitchen doing something or other when a small conversation began about the day's events.

"My father is driving me nuts with this new development," Kirsten complained. "If I can't get the other half of it sold relatively quickly, he's going to be all over me about it."

"Speaking of nuts, they were out of those honey-roasted...whatever it was on your list this morning. Ryan and I looked all over for them. The stock boy claims they'll get more in on Tuesday."

"Pffft. Yeah well, when you go back on Tuesday and they still aren't there you can label them 'Claim Unfounded'." The words rolled right out of Seth's mouth without him even thinking about it. But once his voice came to a halt, he realized the grave error he had made.

"Why did you say that? That's a rather...strange...choice of words." Ryan said flatly. His stare was drilling a hole right through Seth. Everyone in the room could see the anger building behind his eyes. The flicker that represented his 'fight' was currently a full-blown flame.

"What do you mean? I thought we were talking about honey roasted peanuts." Seth tried to douse the flames, but it was too late. Ryan was undeniable at reading people and no matter what Seth said, nothing was going to dig him out of this one.

"So that's what you were doing...when I walked into your room earlier. You were reading my file...weren't you?" Ryan's voice was stone cold, almost threatening. He took three steps closer to Seth until he had him backed up against the refrigerator.

Seeing where this was going, Sandy also made his way across the kitchen to be closer to the boys. "Ryan, just calm down."

"So now you know pretty much everything right? I told you...that's not my life anymore. Why can't you just accept that?" Anger was ruling Ryan with an upper hand. His heart raced and his entire body trembled with anger.

Seth's voice quivered, "Ryan, I never meant to..." Ryan stopped him dead in his tracks as he attempted to throw a punch at Seth. Sandy couldn't stop Ryan's lurch toward Seth in time, but somehow Seth managed to step aside and Ryan's fist slammed into the fridge door.

"Ryan!!! NO!!!" Kirsten yelled as Sandy restrained him before he had a chance to throw another punch.

"Ryan I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Seth was beside himself. When Ryan raised his head to look at Seth, his eyes were filled with tears. The look on Ryan's face ripped his heart out.

"LET GO OF ME!" Ryan raged through clenched teeth. Squirming, he got loose from Sandy's grip, the rage feeding into his strength. Taking one last look at Seth, he pushed past Kirsten and bolted for the Pool House.

The Cohens all stood in the kitchen not sure what to do. Everyone in the house was hysterically upset.

"Seth, what were you thinking?" Sandy asked, out of breath from fighting Ryan's strength.

"What was he thinking?" Kirsten asked in amazement. "I want to know how Ryan knew Seth saw his file!"

"Claim unfounded..." Sandy explained. "Every single child abuse claim against AJ that's in his file is stamped 'Claim Unfounded.' It means AJ got away with everything he ever did to that kid."

"Every single one??? That file has got to be three inches thick!" Kirsten proclaimed.

"Every single one..." Sandy acknowledged.

"What are we going to do? I screwed up. Don't let him leave! Mom, do something!"

"Okay, okay. Everyone calm down. You guys stay here for a minute, I'll go talk to him."

Entering the pool house, Kirsten found Ryan pacing a hole in the floor. "Ryan it's going to be okay."

Stopping dead in his tracks, tonight proved to be his breaking point. His eyes filled up with tears again and the boy with the tough shell came crashing down. "Is it? The harder I try to get away from it, the closer it all seems to follow me. Why can't everyone understand...I just want to forget it. I want to forget about all of it and everyone keeps bringing it back in my face! I just want to forget it..." Dropping to his knees on the floor, he leaned forward on all fours and wept.

Kirsten who had place her hand over her mouth at Ryan's statement through tearful eyes of her own, rushed to his side to comfort him. "Shhh Ryan. We're sorry. All of us. We had no idea how much it upset you."

"I just want to forget it...all of it." His words were heavy with tears and they ripped through Kirsten's heart like a knife. He held her so tight she couldn't even change her seating position on the floor.

"Okay Ryan. We're going to leave the past just where it is, in the past. Okay?"

Ryan nodded slowly against her shoulder as his body jerked from his crying fit. His body trembled in Kirsten's arms.


	5. And The Truth Will Set You Free

The title says it all! Get ready for a big twist in this one.....it's coming!!!! And get ready for a great finale! That's coming too!!! : D ENJOY!!!

**When Darkness Falls – Chap 5**

**And the Truth Will Set You Free**

The neighborhood was quiet at this early hour. Sandy flipped through the newspaper waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. When the familiar morning scent engulfed the kitchen, he filled two mugs. Placing his own mug on the kitchen table, he walked to the den with the second mug and quietly set it down on the coffee table. He paused for a moment. There on the couch was Kirsten, asleep, with Ryan lying against her, asleep in her arms. Clearly it had been a rough night for everyone. Both of them looked as if they cried themselves to sleep. Sandy didn't sleep well either, tossing and turning all night wondering how Kirsten was doing with Ryan. Ever since Ryan opened up to Kirsten, Sandy made a point of staying clear of that lifeline. Ryan had found a comfort zone and Sandy didn't want to interfere with that. By the looks of the two of them on the couch, it was obvious Ryan valued that lifeline. Still, the previous night's events were explosive and this time Sandy was worried. Worried that maybe they pushed him too far. Just as Sandy turned to go back to the kitchen, Kirsten stirred. Stepping closer, Sandy gently rubbed her arm and signaled a 'shhh' before pointing to Ryan. Nodding Kirsten, laid her head back down and just looked at Sandy. She smiled weakly and squeezed Sandy's hand, exhaustion clearly getting the best of her.

"Is he okay?" Sandy asked at barely a whisper. "I was worried about both of you last night but I didn't want to interfere. He didn't rush you out of his room so..."

Keeping her voice as low as possible, "It was a rough night. We talked for quite a while. We really need to lay off about his past Sandy. It's what he wants. Seth looking at his file was the last straw."

Ryan flinched against Kirsten's body. Sandy was concerned they woke him up by talking.

"It's okay," Kirsten explained. "He's been doing that most of the night. I'm going to stay here until he wakes up. He needs the rest."

"Okay. We'll talk more later. You should go back to sleep too. It's 5:30 in the morning. He's okay for now and you can't keep any closer an eye on him than you're already doing." Smiling, he kissed Kirsten and went back to the kitchen to let them sleep.

Ryan was fighting his body's desire to awaken. He was comfortable and warm. And for the first time in a long time his mind was actually empty. He didn't want to ruin this. He wanted to stay like this as long as possible. After a few minutes though, he noticed something moving underneath him. Opening his eyes, he frowned with confusion. This wasn't his bed. For starters, his bed didn't breathe. Whatever he was laying on was moving slightly. His eyes searched with no luck. Tipping his head a bit he learned he was lying on Kirsten. Suddenly panicked, he tried to raise himself up.

"Um...I'm....I'm sorry..."

"Ryan it's okay. Really it's okay. Don't move so fast, you'll get dizzy." Her voice was soft and soothing. Just what he needed right now. Laying his head back down momentarily, he tried to get his act together. Rubbing his eyes, he yawned and maneuvered himself off of the couch.

"Ryan, are you okay? Where are you going?" Concerned, Kirsten got up off the couch and started to follow Ryan.

Ryan's hair was standing on end from sleeping, his eyes were half-mast and his brain was not working at one hundred percent capacity just yet.

Taking Ryan by the arm, Kirsten walked with him toward the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat? Coffee, how about some coffee?"

"Um...I really..."

"Anything...whatever you need just tell me and I'll do it for you." Giving him an encouraging squeeze on the arm, she waited for his request.

"Um...actually...I just...really need to use the bathroom." His face flushed with embarrassment.

Embarrassed herself now, Kirsten stumbled on her own words, "OH! Ryan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...um..."

"It's okay. You didn't know. I'll be right back."

"I'll get some coffee ready for you."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Ryan stepped out of the kitchen. Kirsten watched him walk down the hallway still half asleep. She waited until he went through the bathroom door before she poured his coffee. Setting Ryan's cup down on the counter, Kirsten noticed Seth seating himself at that breakfast counter. He almost looked worse than Ryan. Clearly he hadn't slept either and his eyes looked red and puffy from tears as well.

"Morning Seth. Coffee?"

Shaking his head slowly, he avoided looking at his Mom. "How's Ryan?" he asked quietly.

"He's okay. He's in the bathroom."

The information seemed more than Seth could bear and emotion took over. Fighting back tears, "What do I do Mom? What am I gonna say to him? I betrayed him."

"It's okay Seth."

"No it's not Mom! He hates me now! My first real friend..."

"We'll be okay Seth." The voice startled him. There stood Ryan in the kitchen doorway. He heard everything. Slowly stepping up to the counter, Ryan drew a sip of coffee from the cup Kirsten set out for him.

"Ryan," Seth whimpered. "I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I don't know why I did it. It was a stupid idea..."

"Seth..."

"You hate me now and it's all my fault. We were great friends until I screwed it up." Tears escaped from Seth's eyes and he didn't bother trying to hide them.

"Seth...we're brothers. Brothers fight sometimes. And the next day things go back to the way they were." Ryan continued to sip his coffee.

Seth wasn't prepared for that comment out of Ryan. After the near miss with Ryan's fist the night before Seth was ready for an angry onslaught.

"Yeah...but..."

"I was angry Seth. Actually I was downright pissed. You were the first person that knew me outside of that world. You liked me for who I was, not because you felt sorry for me. When you went through my file...that's not me in there. That's everything about me I wish never existed."

"I guess I have a lot to learn about being a good brother."

"I'm the first brother you've ever had. I guess I have a lot to teach you about being brothers." Ryan raised his head and locked eyes with Seth. "My brother taught me a lot of things. Most of it, I can't use in Newport, but he taught me things. One fight doesn't make us...not...brothers any more. If that's the case, then Trey and I stopped being brothers when I was five years old."

Seth tried to absorb the information Ryan was presenting. He was right. Seth knew nothing about being a brother and he'd been winging it this whole time.

"But yesterday...you were so mad at me. You tried to take my head off."

"Yeah I did. And I'll do it again if you ever do anything that stupid again."

"I won't. I swear to God I won't." Pausing, "I thought...I thought by learning more about your past I could...help you. I didn't take into consideration how much it could hurt you."

"Well, this is your chance. Ask me what you want to know. Once we close this conversation I'm not opening it again."

Kirsten was shocked at Ryan's offer to openly discuss things with Seth. This was so not like him. Not wanting to spoil anything, "Tell you what, I think I'll leave you brothers alone...you know, so you can talk...like brothers."

"It's okay Kirsten," Ryan sighed. "You may as well call Sandy in here too. I just want to get this over with once and for all." Ryan kept his head down and focused on the mug in front of him. This was going to be difficult.

As if he was cued, Sandy walked in wearing his beachwear, straight from his morning surf.

"Oh Sandy, I was going to call you," Kirsten explained. "Ryan...Ryan wants to have, well, sort of a family meeting."

"Oh. Well I'm glad I didn't miss it. What's going on?"

Ryan took a deep breath and pushed himself back in his chair. "Kirsten and I talked a lot last night. I told her...I told her I wanted to leave my past in the past. I wanted people to stop reminding me about it. It was bad enough going through it all the first time but reliving it is just torture every time someone asks me something. But then...all I could think about is how much everyone here is trying to help me and all I'm doing is running from it."

The Cohens all shared a look before Sandy spoke on their behalf. "Ryan, we don't mean to upset you like that. That's not what we're trying to accomplish here. And you know your past better than anyone in this room. We don't want to make you relive it."

"But Ryan, you said I could ask you things..." Seth hesitated.

"Go ahead." Grinding his teeth, Ryan swallowed hard and waited for the floodgates to open.

Wringing his hands on the counter, Seth was worried about being the first one to ask a question. "All those reports, did AJ do all of that to you? I mean, was he the only one that hurt you?"

Ryan's eyes shifted to Seth. Reading. "He wasn't the only one. He was the one that was around the longest. He did the most. He was the worst by far."

"Well, how the hell did he get away with it? The photos..." Seth paused when he noticed Ryan flinch. "It's obvious he was guilty. Why didn't anyone help you?"

"Chino doesn't have money the way Newport does. It doesn't take much money to sway someone there. Money talks and it talks loudly. Once you find someone who's willing to 'listen' to that 'talking', you've got them in your back pocket."

"What's the worst thing he ever did to you?" The question came out of Seth without him even thinking about it.

"Seth!" Sandy reprimanded.

"It's okay Sandy. I told him he could ask me anything he wanted." Ryan shook his head and his eyes darted back and forth across the countertop when he considered all the choices he had to pick from. AJ had done so much to him over the years, it all seemed just like one big beating.

"I don't know that I can pick just one. Things happened at random...daily. The time he beat me up with the tire iron was pretty bad."

"That was the nightmare you had a while back..." Kirsten interrupted.

"Yeah. I can't seem to stop that one from coming back. That one was bad. There was stuff he did on a regular basis. If you left a cup or a dish out on the countertop, you'd find it flying at your head at some point. Sometimes he'd connect with your head, and sometimes you'd be able to duck in time."

The Cohens were all starting to form a picture of what Ryan's life had been like and no one liked the picture they saw.

"There was one time, he walked into my bedroom and Theresa and I were sitting on my bed. He lost his mind. Starting yelling at both of us about fooling around in my room. We weren't doing anything. We weren't even kissing. We were just sitting there. Theresa got scared and ran out. When I tried to leave he threw me up against the wall and just kept beating me until I dropped to the floor. I remember him kicking me. I knew it was coming and tried to turn over so he couldn't...him and his damn steel-toed work boots."

"Where did he kick you?" Seth's voice was almost at a whisper.

Ryan dropped his head and shook it 'no'. With a voice equally as quiet, "I was pissing blood for a week. It hurt to breathe."

"Oh my God Ryan. Did you Mom take you to a doctor?" The concern in Kirsten's voice matched the look on her face.

"Pfft, yeah she did." The embarrassment was passing and anger was taking over. "When the doctor asked what happened, she told him I was jumped by a group of boys from the neighborhood. She didn't say a word about AJ and the look she was giving me clearly said I better not say anything either. When I got home, AJ smacked me around some more because I cost him money by going to the doctor. And then he told me I wouldn't be getting any dinner because I'd spent his grocery money on the doctor. Of course, that meant I couldn't take any of the pain pills the doctor gave me, because they'd burn an empty stomach."

"So, what did you do? You had to be in terrible pain," Sandy asked. His look of concern matching Kirsten's.

"I did what any other abused Chino kid does when they're in pain of any kind. I went out and got drunk."

The room was quiet. No one wanted to add to the already horrific pictures of Ryan's life by asking him anything further. They had all heard enough. When Ryan looked at all their faces, he could see they had learned enough about the Chino experience.

"Now you know why I don't like talking about it," Ryan added. "Whatever good memories I have are either long before AJ, or AJ buried them in his process of creating bad ones."

Sighing, Kirsten came up with a plan. "Then I think you are at the perfect point in your life to start creating more good ones. Now, I can't cook. So, I won't be throwing any dishes at you. So that's covered..."

"Good point Mom," Seth added jumping in. "And I can't fight, so I won't be kicking you in the crotch."

"Seth!"

"Mom! It's a guy thing. You don't ever...hurt...that...part."

Ryan tried hard to hold back a nervous laugh on that one. The words fight and Seth should never be used in the same sentence. He could see where they were going with all of this and he was relieved that the family meeting was taking an upswing and the questions seemed to be at an end.

"Okay, so that leaves me," Sandy said, following his family's lead. "Hey, I've got a AAA Auto Club card. I don't even think we own a tire iron."

"You're all insane, you know that?" Ryan responded, part embarrassed, part relieved.

"And now you're one of us," Seth offered, slapping Ryan on the back. "Welcome to the Dark Side."

"Lady and gentlemen," Sandy began. "I do believe our first family meeting was a great success. Everyone who agrees Ryan's idea to leave his past in the past and Kirsten's idea to make new memories should be noted and approved, say Aye!"

Each of the Cohens raised their hands with an 'Aye' and looked at Ryan who was sheepishly trying to control a smile on his face at the ridiculousness of it all. Finally he raised his hand with an 'Aye' as well.

Sandy allowed his hand to slam down onto the countertop. The sound caused Ryan to jump and Kirsten and Seth just stared at him, wondering what the hell he was doing.

"Sorry, I got a little over excited about our first meeting. This meeting is adjourned. As for you," he started, looking at Ryan. "Congratulations Mr. Atwood. Your past is now history." Sandy patted Ryan on the back before leaving the kitchen for the den.

"Well Jesus Ryan, if we knew it was going to be that easy, we could of done this night you got here and gotten this all out of the way," Seth joked.

"He wasn't ready to do this back then Seth. I'm very proud of you Ryan. This is a very powerful thing you did today." Kirsten kissed his forehead and gave him a hug.

"Thanks." Ryan returned the hug. This was strange. He felt as if a giant weight had been removed from his shoulders. With his past put to rest, maybe he could finally move forward with his life. Just maybe, with the Cohens help, it could be everything he dreamed of after all...maybe...

A couple of weeks had passed since the inaugural Cohen family meeting and the atmosphere in the house was as pleasant and bright as the weather outside. Everyone was back to sleeping the way they should be, Seth and Ryan were back to being best friends and more importantly, Sandy and Kirsten could visibly see a bounce in Ryan's step that wasn't there prior to that little family meeting. Clearly even though he didn't like to discuss his past, doing so with the family that cared so much about him had seemed to liberate him. He was clearly much more relaxed and happy. Kirsten could actually label him as happy. It was a welcome change that everyone, including Ryan, seemed to enjoy.

Looking out from the kitchen window, she watched Seth and Ryan in the pool, tormenting each other the way brothers do. Kirsten would hold her breath every time Ryan held Seth's head under water. She knew they were just goofing around but she also knew Ryan was much stronger than Seth and he could really hurt him if he wanted to. On the other hand, she worried about Ryan's eyes every time Seth shot him in the face with the super soaker. Twice Ryan had choked on the water stream when Seth nailed him in the face when he was coming up for air. "Boys will be boys," Kirsten reminded herself. It was inspiring to see Ryan acting like the kid he's supposed to be. With one last smile at the boys, she turned her attention to the array of take out menus on the counter. Dinner was creeping up on her quickly. She made the appropriate decisions and finished ordering just as Sandy entered the kitchen.

"How are things on the home front?" Sandy asked, looking out the kitchen window at the boys in the pool. "Ah, I see they're trying to kill each other again. That's nice isn't it?" he mocked.

"Yes, actually it is. They've been at it all afternoon. I keep telling them about sunscreen, but you know how it is. Seth thinks I'm being overbearing. At least Ryan let me put some on his back...once. After that he was too busy trying to drown Seth."

Laughing, "That's my boys! So what's for dinner? I'm starving."

"Oh speaking of which, I should get the boys out of the pool. Dinner will be here in about twenty minutes. We're having French-American."

"Have I had that before?"

Seeing Sandy's puzzled face, "Ah...that's French food for you and me and American for the boys.

"Oh, special treatment. I think I like that," Sandy oozed, embracing his wife.

"Well if you think dinner is special wait until you see the dessert," she teased. Pulling away from Sandy's attempted affection, "Uh uh uh! You haven't had your dinner yet. No dessert until you eat your dinner. I've got to go get the boys out of the pool."

Yelling from the patio, "Boys time to get dressed for dinner."

"Not yet Mom, I owe Ryan at least one more good soaking." Burying his super soaker in the pool water he hoped his Mom would distract Ryan long enough for him to reload. "And tell him it's not nice to drown me!"

"Ryan, don't drown Seth before dinner. We don't have time!"

"Is after okay?" Ryan joked.

"After is fine. Let's go guys!"

"MOM!"

Dinner in the Cohen house had just wrapped up. Ryan was loading the dishwasher while Seth sat on the counter swinging his feet and complaining about how long it was taking when the phone rang.

"I got it," Sandy declared, being closest to the phone. "Hello? This is Sandy Cohen. Yes. Yes. What? When?"

Ryan froze listening to Sandy's half of the conversation. Instinct told him it had to do with him. And according to Sandy's reactions, the news was not good.

"Yes I understand. I appreciate the call...I think. Yes. Thank you." Sandy clicked the phone off and stared at the receiver in his hand.

"What's wrong?" Ryan inquired automatically.

Sandy's expression told Ryan he was wrestling with the decision to share the information.

"It's about me isn't it?" Ryan probed again but Sandy didn't answer. "Sandy..."

"I don't know...um...if I should..."

"Sandy just tell me," anxiety becoming apparent in Ryan's voice.

Looking at Ryan he could visibly see he was concerned about the call. This kid was good. How he figured out the call pertained to him was beyond Sandy.

"Ryan...AJ is dead."


	6. Into Dust

So it's time to wrap this one up. Just a couple of things...Thanks to one and all for the great reviews! This one was an adventure to write and I'm glad many of you tagged along for the ride. I must admit...the "sleepover" mentioned in this chapter here was something my parents and I did until I was 17 if something was bothering me! No, you don't actually 'sleep-over'...it's just a night filled will board games! Just clarifying that. LOL! Perks of being an only child I guess! And yes, I am somewhat superstitious and have known people that go through Ryan's motions at the end of the story. It's all in what you believe in I suppose. Oh....and no...I don't think Ryan would have ever pulled the stunt at the end of this one in front of Sandy the way he does...nor do I think Sandy would tolerate it the way he does here. But...this is my story and I'm sticking to it! LOL! : D This one got a little bit lengthy, and yet I didn't want to split it up. I hope you all enjoy the ending of this one....and I hope to offer some new, upbeat...funny material in the near future. ENJOY!

**When Darkness Falls – Chapter 6**

**Into Dust**

Ryan's face contorted into sheer confusion. "He's dead? Are you...sure?"

"The person that called me still works in the Public Defender's Office. He knows about you and he knows about AJ. I asked him to keep his ears open for me after that whole episode with AJ at the charity event set up, on the loading dock. I was worried he would come after you again and I didn't think it would hurt anything to have an extra set of eyes and ears on the inside helping us out." Sandy's tone was quiet, but he was clearly unnerved by the unexpected phone call.

"He's dead..." Ryan's face went pale and his eyes darted back and forth trying to absorb this new information. It felt like a cruel trick. AJ couldn't be dead. AJ never even got hurt, how could he be dead? Years of struggling against AJ's wrath blurred through Ryan's mind. The visions left him dizzy and he grabbed for the counter.

"Whoa Ryan...easy there. How about we sit you down? Are you okay?" By now Sandy was starting to second-guess his decision to just blurt out the new information to Ryan. Helping Ryan to a chair, he watched him carefully. He was wishing he shared Ryan's talent for reading people. He knew the wheels in Ryan's head were turning at warp speed but he couldn't even begin to imagine what this kid was thinking.

"Ryan..." he paused, waiting for Ryan to look at him. "Everything's going to be okay. It's over. It's finally over. He's gone."

Ryan stared back at Sandy, his eyebrows furled deep with concentration. He wanted to ask Sandy to pinch him, to somehow prove to him that this was real.

This news had knocked Ryan for a loop. What Sandy couldn't understand was, why wasn't Ryan...happy? This monster that had hurt him, repeatedly, was gone. He would never return. Sandy was having a hard time understanding what was so confusing to Ryan. Just when he was considering asking him, Ryan beat him to the punch.

"I want to see him."

Sandy's mouth dropped open at that request. "What? Why?"

And it didn't take Seth long to put his two cents in, "Ryan I don't think that's a good idea. This is great news. Your life is totally yours now."

"You don't understand," Ryan tried to explain. "I need to see him. I want to see him lying there stone cold and stiff. If I don't do that, I'll never believe it's true. I thought he was gone when I came here. I thought I was safe from him here, yet he found me. I need to prove to myself that he's really dead. If I don't...then he's still out there."

"Okay son," Sandy gave in after hesitating. "If that's what you need, that's what we'll do. We'll go. We can all go with you if you want. As long as you understand you have the right to change your mind at any time. You do not...have to do this."

"Spoken like a true attorney Sandy. I have to do this. I just...I have to."

"Okay kid. We'll get through this..."

Ryan couldn't relax at all that night. Every time he'd close his eyes, his subconscious reminded him that he'd be face to face again with AJ the next day. Dead or alive, the thought was intimidating. He wasn't able to close his eyes for more than a few minutes without the visions returning and taking control of his thoughts. When he couldn't stand it any more, he got out of his bed, pulled sweatpants on and went into the house. Shuffling through the dark house, he hoped Seth was still awake. Maybe he'd have some ideas for getting Ryan's mind off of the next day's events.

"Seth?" Tapping on the bedroom door, Ryan pushed it open to find the room empty. "Where the hell is he?"

Ryan wandered aimlessly to Sandy and Kirsten's bedroom door. He was relieved to see the door open and the lights on inside the room. They were still awake.

Knocking on the open door, "Sandy? Kirsten?"

"Ryan? Come in, come in," Sandy offered.

"I'm sorry. I know it's late."

"Oh it's fine Ryan, we're wide awake. Is everything okay?" Kirsten was worried about Ryan. He looked extremely skittish.

Ryan nodded, but he couldn't bring himself to look directly at Kirsten. "I'm fine. I was just...I shouldn't have bothered you. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Ryan, hold up a minute. You can talk to us you know. Are you having second thoughts about tomorrow?"

Raising his head, "Yeah...I mean no. I still want to go tomorrow. I just...this is hard for me," he hesitated. "I don't want to be alone tonight." His face flushed with embarrassment. He wasn't used to asking for help, but tonight was more than he could bear. He needed help whether he liked it or not.

"Hey son, it's going to be okay. You don't have to go through this alone. And you can still..."

"I have to do this Sandy."

"Ryan, what are you doing in here?" Seth's interjection surprised everyone in the room. "Dad I need the Arts & Leisure section, you got it?"

"Hey Seth, Ryan needs our help to relax a little bit tonight. Got any ideas?"

"Dude! You've come to the right person! Yeah I do...SLEEPOVER!!!" Seth took a running dive up the middle of his parents' bed and landed between them. "Come on Ryan, give it a try."

Ryan forgot about AJ all right. He couldn't believe what Seth was asking him to do. Seth did this every now and then. He'd come up with an idea that seemed straight out of fourth grade. And this was one of them! "Seth, I'm not jumping on your parents bed."

"Ryan you have to! It's THE only way to start a sleepover! Come on try it!"

"Seth...you haven't had a sleepover in here since you were seven years old." Sandy tried coming to Ryan's aid, but it was hopeless. Seth's 'Operation Sleepover was already in motion.

"Dad, Ryan has NEVER had a sleepover! He is LONG overdue and you're depriving him! This is a momentous occasion in his life!"

"That's okay Seth. I think I can get by without it." Ryan had a whole new reason to be nervous now. It was bad enough he felt he was acting like a little boy instead of a man by asking the Cohens to keep him company tonight without Seth glorifying the event by turning it into a slumber party.

Before Ryan could turn to leave, "I don't know Ryan," Kirsten smirked. "Seth might be onto something. Besides, it's not as bad as it sounds. It's definitely not as big a deal as Seth is making it out to be. We don't sleep, we play board games."

"I'm 16. I'm not jumping on your bed. And I'm not doing a sleepover."

"Ah, see what's happening here Seth? He thinks he's too big for board games. That's what the problem is," Kirsten added.

Ryan forced his eyebrows down. Crackers. All of them were completely crackers. This was proving to be one of those cheesy 'family' things that the Cohens did from time to time and it just was not Ryan's 'thing'. "I'm just gonna go...watch TV or something..." Shaking his head, he turned to leave the room.

"NO! Ryan wait! Seth bounded over Sandy and blocked Ryan's path. "You can't leave. You can't. Trust us Ryan. This is exactly what you need."

"Seth, I was stressed out when I came in here. You're causing me more stress. That means you're not helping!"

"Okay, so that might be true. I seem to cause stress for a lot of people. But you haven't even given it a try."

"Seth!"

"Ryan! Just try it. You're gonna love it. I swear. There must have been things that you didn't want to try before and someone forced you to do it and maybe you liked some of them and maybe you hated some of them. Like Trey asking you to steal that car..."

"SETH!!! I thought we agreed we were done talking about my past!" Ryan shot back.

"Oh this is getting good Kirsten. We should have made popcorn..." Sandy mocked, leaning against the headboard.

"Wrong Ryan! Stealing the car brought you to me, and that makes that incident part of my history. I'm only required to ignore your history Buddy...I can do what I want with my own."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you need us tonight and we wanna help you! And as your brother I'm telling you to get your ass over there and jump on that bed and have some fun with us for a while!"

Ryan narrowed his eyes at Seth. "Are you raising your voice at me?"

Folding his arms nervously in front of himself, "Yeah I was...just a little bit. Don't hurt me though. I was going for that intimidation thing so you'd know I was serious."

"It was good. I'm proud of you."

"Seriously? Well...good. Because I meant it."

Seth and Ryan stood staring at each other with Ryan sighing loudly before looking at the floor. This was minty. Extremely minty. And it seemed Ryan wasn't going to get out of it.

"I've got the game," Kirsten said, sitting on the bed with the Monopoly box. "So who's in?"

"I'm in," Sandy answered, folding his newspaper and throwing it on the floor next to the bed.

"I'm in," Seth added with just a little too much excitement in his voice for Ryan's taste.

"So, what do you think Ryan?" Kirsten hoped he would drop the tough guy act and just be the kid he really is if even for a few hours. The next day was going to hold enough drama for everyone.

Ryan looked at each of the Cohen faces. He was clearly outnumbered. "Alright, I'll play the game but I'm not..."

"AWESOME!!! Come right over here, there ya go. Now pay attention Ryan, the spring off the floor is extremely important. Once again, Seth leaped onto the bed and sat himself across from Sandy, tapping the empty blanket space across from Kirsten.

Ryan gaped at the blanket, then looked at the Cohens...then looked back to the blanket. Shaking his head, finally he leaned forward and slowly crawled up the bed to his place next to Seth and across from Kirsten. Still embarrassed he kept his eyes low while Kirsten set up the game.

"I'm impressed Ryan. I'll give you a nine for courage," Sandy joked.

"Yeah but he's really gotta work on his form. I'm only giving him a six for his form. It's okay Ryan. This is only your first sleepover. You'll improve in time."

"Seth, stop calling this a sleepover. I said I'm playing the game but that's it." He could handle a round of Monopoly but he was sleeping in his own bed when this was over with and he would never even consider the idea of jumping on Sandy and Kirsten's bed. As ridiculous as all of this was, it was better than letting thoughts of AJ rule his mind for the next hour or two.

"Whatever you say Buddy."

Ryan noticed Sandy and Kirsten exchange a smirk.

The game began and minutes quickly turned into hours as icons and money went around the board. Hotels were built and empires were shattered. Kirsten turned out to be the first casualty of the evening followed soon after by Ryan. Seth and Sandy however were going strong.

Ryan sprawled out and propped himself up on one elbow to watch the rest of the game, or so he thought. It didn't take long before his arm stretched out and he was lying on his side watching the game. Seth and Sandy were still going at it with vigor. Both wanted to be the winner and no one was giving in. The pieces on the board were blurring and the conversation, even though it was lively was starting to fall on deaf ears where Ryan was concerned. His eyes closed, for what he only meant to be a minute, but he couldn't fight off the sleep and the darkness came.

Seth sat on the bed reading a comic, bopping his head to his own silent tune. Looking over he saw Ryan raise his head and stop.

"Problem...Ryan?"

"I did not just sleep here... What the hell am I doing here? How the hell did I fall asleep here?" Disgustedly shaking his head.

"Dude, I don't know. We lost you somewhere around Pennsylvania Avenue. What's the matter Ryan? Need Mom to assign you an earlier bedtime? Not a big enough boy to stay awake for late night Monopoly?"

Ryan turned his head to Seth and his face had "F-you!" written all over it.

"I'm just funnin' with ya man. Calm down. It's too early to be that pissed."

Ryan shook his head before letting it drop down into the pillows. "Where are your parents? More importantly, where did they sleep?" he muffled into the pillow.

"Well, after you crashed out, I triumphed in the world of Monopoly. Sorry you missed it. We put the game away and we moved you and..."

"You moved me?" Ryan asked, unable to believe that he didn't wake up.

"Yeah. We moved you. Remember, you were sitting down there. We couldn't let you sleep there, you would have fallen off the bed."

"Yeah but, you moved me?" Ryan repeated.

"It's really not that big of a deal Ryan. We just kept pulling on you until we got you up here. Mom tucked you in because, you know, she's Mom. You were in a coma Ryan. You didn't even babble."

Ryan shot a warning look at Seth for the second time.

"Again with the evil eyes! So to answer your question, my Dad slept in my bed and my Mom slept in the guest room. My Mom was actually excited about it because apparently my Dad is a blanket thief. I realize that's more info than we need but they were totally cool with it. They were actually pretty happy that you were able to sleep a little bit. Congrats dude. You made it through your first sleepover."

Sitting up in the bed, for the first time he remembered what the day was going to hold for him. "Today is the funeral home. AJ."

"Yeah. You sure about this?" Seth paused before Ryan nodded hesitantly. "Okay. I'll go with you if you want."

Ryan thought on it for a minute before nodding again. "I'd like that. I'm gonna need all the help I can get today," he offered quietly. This admitting weakness stuff was new to him and he still didn't like giving up the power, the control. That in itself was scary.

"You got us, all of us. We're not gonna let you do this alone."

"Ryan, it's time to go." Sandy tried to make his words sound calm. He knew Ryan was a total basket case even though he was doing his damnedest to hide his emotions.

The day went by surprisingly fast, "Isn't that always the way when something dreaded is lurking?" Ryan thought to himself. Taking a deep breath, he stood up from his bed and eyed himself in the mirror. Most people wear black to a visitation out of respect for the dead, but, since Ryan had no respect for AJ he had no intention of wearing black. In the mirror was the kid the Cohens had saved, not a stitch of Chino to be seen. He had chosen his outfit carefully. Even though he didn't necessary believe in ghosts and the afterlife, he wasn't taking any chances. If AJ could 'see' him from where ever he was, Ryan wanted to make sure he could see how far he'd come without him. He wore his brand new blue jeans, no holes, no stains. He wore a pristine white tank top, sure he wore those in Chino, but this one was new and clean and he happened to like wearing them. On top of the tank top he wore a royal blue, silk shirt, a gift from Kirsten during one of her many shopping sprees for Ryan. He made a point of wearing his new watch that Sandy gave him. AJ had pawned his old watch back in Chino in order to buy drugs and then he told Ryan he didn't need a new one. Lastly he wore his new black boots, another gift from Kirsten with Seth's help. No more scuffed toes and broken shoelaces. Everything he wore was new. Gifts from people who cared about him and felt he deserved the best.

The car ride was sheer torture for Ryan. On several occasions he considered asking Sandy to stop the car, thinking he was going to be sick. Kirsten lowered her sun visor to apply some lipstick and conveniently left in down, the mirror allowing her full view of Ryan sitting behind her. Her mothering instinct was strong. Even if Ryan felt just a little green in the gills, she was already asking him if he was okay. She must have asked him that question eight times during the hour-long ride to Chino.

When they finally pulled into the funeral home's parking lot, Ryan couldn't hide his nerves any longer. He pushed himself back against the car seat and attempted to control his breathing. Concerned Kirsten turned around and found Ryan locking eyes with her. His mouth was clenched shut and his chest was rising and falling rapidly, panicked. Even though Ryan didn't say a thing, his eyes were definitely crying out for help. He was terrified.

Reaching into the back seat, Kirsten placed her hand on his leg. "It's okay Ryan. We're all here with you. We're in no hurry. We can sit here as long as you need to. Just take your time okay?" She kept her hand on his knee and he kept his vision locked on her. No one said anything. Everyone in the car knew how tough this was going to be on Ryan and no one wanted to say or do anything to make it harder on him.

Several minutes had gone by and Ryan was still struggling to get a grip on his nerves. He hadn't taken his eyes off of Kirsten, not for a second.

"Ryan, I'm going to come around and open your door. You don't have to get out I just think the air would be good for you. Okay?"

Ryan quickly nodded and swallowed hard as Kirsten did exactly what she said she was going to do. "There we go. Seth, open your door a bit too. We'll get some air going back here." Kirsten leaned on the door and put her hand over Ryan's. He immediately grabbed her hand and held it tight. Closing his eyes, his chin shook momentarily but he managed to keep it under control.

Twenty five minutes had gone by before he felt strong enough to exit the car. "Okay. Let's just get this over with so we can go home."

"Just remember Ryan, we can get outta here whenever you want. Just say the word and we'll go." Sandy hoped Ryan would come out of this in one piece. The poor kid hadn't even gotten out of the car yet and he was out of sorts.

Ryan nodded in acknowledgement and everyone got out of the car and just stared at the door to the funeral parlor. They were the only car in the parking lot. Sandy had purposely contacted the director asking for a private visit. He didn't want any of AJ's acquaintances starting in on Ryan. Kirsten stepped up and took Ryan's arm and Seth stepped up and wrapped his arm around Ryan's shoulder and they started walking slowly toward the door.

The funeral home stunk with some unidentified smell. Sandy thought it was from standing water, Kirsten thought it was mold. All Ryan could think of was AJ's dead body in the next room. He knew that wasn't the case but it came to mind anyway. The director led them to the chapel where AJ was laid out. The funeral home was small only ten rows of seats separated Ryan in the doorway from AJ in his casket at the front of the room. Stepping over the threshold to the room, Ryan came to a dead stop. Kirsten noticed his breathing pick up again and he was trembling.

"Ryan if this is close enough you don't have to..."

"No." He cut off Kirsten's sugar coating and pulled his arms loose. Somehow he found the strength to walk up to the front row of seats. There he caught the first honestly glimpse of AJ. Dead.

Kirsten poked at Seth and whispered, "Don't let him do this alone...get up there with him." Seth was nervous himself but he wanted to show Ryan he had his back so he walked up to Ryan's side.

"Is that him?" Seth asked quietly, cautiously.

"Yeah," Ryan answered with barely a voice. Slowly Ryan stepped forward one step at a time as if the ground below him could give way at any minute. He made it all the way up to the casket, only an arm's reach away from AJ before he stopped and glared at the body. AJ was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt and a worn leather biker vest. No different than Ryan had seen him on any given Saturday. He searched AJ's face and remembered the anger that spilled from his mouth on so many occasions. Then he looked at his hands and remembered the violence and the pain they inflicted on him. Just enough anger was rumbling inside of Ryan to motivate him up to the side of the casket.

"Ry...Ryan...what are you doing?" Seth looked back to his parents who had come up to the front near the casket.

Raising a trembling hand, Ryan extended his arm over the body, his hand hovering over AJ's tattooed arm. Just as he lowered his hand to touch AJ, something crashed in the next room causing Ryan to snatch his hand away from the open coffin and practically jump out of his skin. His heart was pounding so fast he felt dizzy. He had to do this. He just had to. Stepping back up to AJ, Ryan quickly touched his arm while watching his face. Cold. Ice cold.

Sandy and Kirsten watched with apprehension. Regardless of what was written in his file, regardless of what Ryan admitted on his own, it was painful to watch Ryan come to terms with the monster that had terrorized him for so long. It was heart wrenching to watch the kid. The dead body lying before him still held enough power to scare this kid. But Ryan was about to change that. Forever.

Ryan spoke out loud and he didn't care who heard him. "You can't hurt me anymore. The Cohens are giving me the life you tried to keep me from having. I'm happy and I'm safe...and there's not a fucking thing you can about you son of a bitch. I hope you rot in hell for what you did to me."

Kirsten walked up, extending her arms to Ryan. Turning to her, he buried his head in her shoulder. His body was still trembling and she could feel his chin shaking. He held her tight. Looking over his shoulder, Kirsten got her first close look at AJ. The site of him gave her goose bumps. Even in death the man looked evil. Threatening. Intimidating. Kirsten couldn't even begin to imagine what it could have been like having to face him on a daily basis.

"I want to go home," Ryan mumbled against Kirsten's shoulder. Picking his head up, he gave AJ's body one last glare. "I want to go home and be with my family."

"Okay Ryan. Let's go home. Come on." Kirsten was relieved that this event was over. She understood that Ryan had to see for himself in order to put this behind him. With her arm linked in Ryan's arm, Sandy walked up and put his arm around Ryan's shoulder. Ryan was thankful for the help. His legs felt like tree trunks. This encounter has simply drained him. With Seth in the lead, they walked out of the chapel.

They had only reached the lobby when fate intervened. "Oh my God," Sandy said under his breath. Everyone turned to him to see what caught his attention.

"Ryan? I didn't think...I didn't expect to see you here." Dawn's shocked voice cut through the silence in the funeral home as if it were a chainsaw and Ryan felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes swollen from tears looked at Ryan, half longing for the son she lost, half confused that she ran into him at this time.

Sandy and Kirsten stood firm next to Ryan. Seth stood with his hands on his hips. They weren't going anywhere.

"I came to make sure he was dead." Ryan's comment was cold and calculated and it cut right to the point.

"Ryan..." Dawn started.

"No, don't even try it." Ryan's voice was getting louder and his tone meant business. "All those years. Years Mom. How could you just stand by and let him do that to me? Not once, never, did you even try to stop him from hurting me. Never." Ryan's voice was starting to shake and his chest rose and fell with emotion. He was glad Sandy and Kirsten were holding him up. He wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"Ryan, you're my son! I love you!" Dawn was crying hysterically but Ryan wasn't buying it. He'd seen this song and dance one too many times.

"No Mom...these guys love me, all of them. They've done more for me in the past six months than you did in the last six years! I came here to put an end to my life in Chino. AJ's gone now. I don't ever want to see you again."

"Ryan please don't say that!" Dawn pleaded.

"I have a chance to do something with my life, to be somebody. At the very least to be with a family cares about me and loves me and they aren't afraid to show it. I'm not blowing this. If you want to ruin your life, fine, go ahead. You're not taking me down with you. I'm going home with my family." Turning away, Ryan pulled against Kirsten and Sandy in the direction of the door. He had had enough.

After the trio had gone through the door, Seth turned around to Dawn, hands still on his hips, "Be happy for him. We love him. We'll take really great care of him. I only wish you would have given him to us sooner. He's wasted a lot of time being unhappy." Seth felt the need to throw down one last dig on his brother's behalf. It felt good to be the one doing the protecting for a change. He owed Ryan a ton of payback in that department. He agreed with Ryan. There must have been plenty of chances for her to protect him and apparently she never did. Mother material she was not. Seth let the door close behind him. He could hear Dawn crying in the lobby...

Two weeks had gone by since the escapade at the funeral parlor. The first few days afterwards were rough. It took time for Ryan to let it all sink in. He really was safe now. No matter what, AJ was not coming back. Not this time. Ryan was starting to get that spring back in his step. There was just one more thing he wanted to do.

"Hey Sandy, there's something I need to do and I was wondering if you'd go with me."

"Sure kid, what are we doing?"

"It's...it's hard to explain. It's going to take a while. I need to go back to Chino to take care of something."

Sandy stood looking at Ryan quizzically. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just need to take care of something and I thought...since you got me out of Chino...it seemed appropriate that I ask you to come with me."

"Okay. Let's go."

Sandy had no idea where this was leading or what Ryan had in store. All he knew was that Ryan was in a fairly good mood so returning to Chino had to have a good reason behind it. Sites that were familiar to Ryan breezed by outside the car window. While stopped at one particular intersection, they watched a fight on the sidewalk. Ryan exchanged a look with Sandy and the look made Sandy nervous. That mischievous flicker was alive and well in Ryan's eyes again. It was the same flicker that had gotten him into trouble in the past.

"We aren't going to get arrested...are we?"

"Nah. And if we do, I know a pretty good attorney."

"Just pretty good? Not great???"

Ryan laughed at Sandy, "Okay. Yeah he's pretty great."

It didn't take long for Ryan to change the subject and direct Sandy into the parking lot of a convenient store. "Park down over there. You've got a fancy car. You don't want the drunks eyeballing it. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back..." Slamming the car door behind him, Ryan walked purposefully into the convenient store. Just when Sandy was starting to worry about him, he reappeared and walked back to the car. "Okay Sandy, let's go."

"We're done here?"

"Yep."

Confused, Sandy again followed Ryan's instructions and they came to a stop in front of what was supposed to be a playground. The swings were either broken or missing entirely. All of the equipment was rusting and looked like it hadn't been painted in years. And there wasn't a single child to be found.

"Ryan, what are we doing here?"

"Come on. Walk with me. We're saying goodbye to old memories. I'll keep some of the good ones. But most of what happened in Chino, should stay in Chino."

Confused again, Sandy followed Ryan onto the outskirts of the playground where Ryan prepared to reveal his first secret. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out, not one, but two bottles of beer and handed one to Sandy.

"Ryan...how did you...but when...oh my God, you stole these???"

That devilish smile danced on Ryan's face again. Sandy was speechless. He didn't know what to think, what to do or what to say. Lucky for him, they were on Ryan's turf and Ryan had a plan.

Walking up to the slide, Ryan used the ladder of the slide to pop the cap off his bottle before handing it to Sandy and taking the other bottle and doing the same. Ryan clinked the bottles before taking a sip and turning toward the factories across from the playground.

"My Dad used to work there, even before we moved here. When my Mom would drive out to pick him up, Trey and I would hang out at this playground while we waited for him to get off work. He'd push me on the swings sometimes, telling me I was in a rocket or something." Ryan smiled at the memory of his Dad before he continued. "He did pretty good here until the factory laid off a bunch of workers. That's when everything became a train wreck. He tried to get work but he couldn't and he got desperate. He ended up in jail and I never came back here. He was a good guy for the most part. Nothing like the other guys my Mom brought home. Something happened to her when he went away. She stopped caring...about everything and everyone. You almost done with that beer?"

"Almost done? Ryan you just gave it to me. You aren't planning on getting me drunk or something are you? Kirsten will kill both of us!"

Laughing, "No. We're not getting drunk. We're actually celebrating. I would have asked Kirsten, and even Seth, to come, but I didn't want them to be tainted by all of this. It took all of us, myself included, a long time to accept what happened here and put it in the past for good. No more beatings for me. No more questions from you guys. This is the last page. Today we close the book on Chino for good. Come on. We've got one more stop to make before heading home."

"Ryan we can't take these bottles in the car, they're open."

"Yeah you can. This is Chino. Even the cops have beer here. Just don't wave it in front of the window."

The drove along for a few more minutes, all the while Sandy was trying to guess Ryan's last move. They weren't anywhere near his mother's house. They weren't near any of his old friends, as far as Sandy knew. And he had stolen beer. This was getting more and more confusing to Sandy as time went by. Finally Ryan asked him to turn into a driveway. The driveway led into a small cemetery. Suddenly Sandy got a very unnerved feeling.

Grabbing Ryan's arm before he could exit the car, "Ryan, what are we doing here?"

"You'll see. Come on. I promise, I won't get you arrested."

Now Sandy had seen quite a bit in his day, but of all his experiences, this one rattled his cage. Skeptically he followed Ryan through the unruly grass. The sun had just about set and it was casting an orange glow across the ground. They kept walking until Ryan stopped just before a fresh grave. Sandy started putting pieces of the puzzle together and it was all starting to make sense.

"Ryan, is that..."

"AJ." Ryan took a couple of cautious steps and stood a safe distance away from the fresh mound of dirt. "I've wanted this since the day he came into my life. The first time he hit me was the second time my Mom brought him home."

Sandy listened and watched Ryan closely. He seemed strong and confident despite the fact that he was standing in front of AJ's grave. He assumed it was because this time they were looking at a pile of dirt, not AJ's face.

"I guess it's stupid and childish to admit that I feel like he might reach out from the dirt and grab me huh?"

"It's not stupid at all Ryan. The guy put you through hell. That's not an easy thing to overcome."

Nodding, "And that's why we're here." Ryan tipped his bottle up and drained it. "You finish that beer yet Sandy?"

"Um...no. Not exactly."

Ryan held his hand out for Sandy to hand him the bottle. Still not sure what the bottles have to do with anything, he let Ryan have it. Eying the bottle to see how much was left, Ryan put the bottle to his mouth and emptied it.

"Easy Ryan...easy," Sandy warned.

"It's okay Sandy. I promise to be on my best behavior once I leave Chino. Besides, it takes a lot more than this to get me drunk"

"Okay. Good to know although I'm not looking to get you drunk. We'd both have to answer to Kirsten and it wouldn't be pretty. Now what?"

"If you weren't standing here, I'd probably piss on his headstone. Considering he's dead, he wouldn't feel the embarrassment or humiliation such an act should bring nor does it even come close to the embarrassment and humiliation he put me through, so it's a waste of my time. I will however do this..."

Sandy watched as Ryan walked to AJ's headstone where he whipped one of the beer bottles as hard as he could against the stone causing the bottle to shatter. The scene before him caused Sandy to jump. Backing away from the headstone, Ryan turned and walked back down to the foot of the grave. Holding the last beer bottle out toward the grave, he tipped it upside down allowing the last few drops of beer to drip out. Facing the bottle on its side, he dropped it into the grass just below AJ's grave. Sandy just stared at Ryan wondering what the point of all of this was.

"Are you superstitious Sandy?"

"Sometimes," he replied, looking at Ryan to explain where all of this was going.

"You see Sandy, life in Chino is mostly about partying. When can we party, where can we party, who can supply the party, when's the next party and don't mess with my party. And by party I mean drugs and booze. Not all of Chino of course, but it is in my old neighborhood. The people who party regularly with each other leave beer, among other things, at the gravesite of a deceased friend so they can party in the afterlife. However, it's also said, that's there's nothing worse that you can do to someone in the afterlife than leaving them with a broken bottle, which is supposed to represent bad luck. Or leaving them with an empty bottle, which means they can't party in the afterlife. The well is dry. The fact that I drank out of the bottle that I left him, and it's empty, not to mention out of his reach, according to Chino urban legend should be upsetting him tremendously. And that gives me great pleasure. The fact that I shared a drink with you, the person who got me away from him...well that's a major sting."

Sandy stood speechless. Again he wasn't sure how to respond to all of this. He had never seen Ryan quite like this. Here he stood explaining to Sandy about Chino afterlife and getting even with AJ. It seemed AJ's death had empowered him, for the better.

"Don't be scared Sandy. I realize I'm not making much sense to you. It's just...being from Chino, I had to do this. It means for the first time ever, I got the last word this time. And there's not a damn thing he can do about it."

"I understand...but please promise me I won't start finding shrunken heads in your room."

Chuckling, "That won't be a problem Sandy. I actually don't believe in any of that stuff normally, but, just incase it does work, I couldn't pass up this opportunity."

Sharing a laugh, "You ready to get out of here kid?"

"Yeah. Let's go home."

Ryan gave AJ's grave one last stare before turning away to walk with Sandy. He never looked back. Sandy put his hand on Ryan's back and Ryan didn't even jump. Not only had AJ been returned to dust, but it seemed many of Ryan's demons got buried with him as well.

Once they sat down in the car, "Now Ryan, let me just remind you of one little detail."

Ryan smiled with a sideways glance at Sandy, "I know...stealing is wrong...under aged drinking is wrong...and I better not ever do it again."

"You really need to stop reading what people are thinking Ryan. It's giving the rest of us a complex!"

Ryan smiled, that mischievous spark twinkling in his eyes.

"So we should celebrate, maybe do something with Seth and Kirsten. What do you think?"

"Sure, sounds good."

"Any special requests?"

"I don't know."

"We could ask Seth for his input, then again, his last idea was the sleepover which would require you to do some jumping."

"Don't even start that again Sandy! Besides, with you-know-who dead and buried I'm in a good enough mood, I might have a lapse of judgment and go through with it." Ryan paused, waiting for Sandy's shocked comment, which came like clockwork.

"What? Ryan Atwood is going to jump on a bed? I don't believe it. But I thought you said you're too old and too cool to jump on the bed."

"I was traumatized last time, that doesn't count. Who knows, I might jump and then kick you ass at Monopoly." Ryan smiled out the window as Chino disappeared and Newport approached, clearly enjoying the exchange with Sandy.

"Oh now you've done it! Those are fighting words and no one beats me in Monopoly!"

"Seth won last time Sandy."

"Or sure, rub it in! And how do you know that? You were in a coma that night! So you really want to do this?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But don't say anything incase I change my mind."

"No no no, there's no going back now Ryan. You touched dead bodies, you stole beer and drank it in front of your attorney and guardian and by God, you're jumping on that bed!"

Ryan couldn't control the laughter any more. A genuine smile took over his face. "That was pretty ballsy wasn't it? Well since you put it that way..."

"That's right! You're Ryan Atwood, you can do anything!"

"Thanks Sandy...for everything." Ryan kept looking out the window.

"Oh don't you go soft on me now! Your soul has been freed and you're ridiculously happy inside and I wanna see it. And getting mushy on me isn't going to get you out of jumping on the bed or dueling me in a mean game of Monopoly!"

Laughing again, Ryan shook his head. "I tried."

Ryan's smile lingered as they drove on. His new life was good. And his future was looking even better.


End file.
